Peace on Earth, Good Will to Men

Merry Christmas from the Tanii! Christmas cards may or may not be coming. It's been a hectic month or three. Can you believe that two years ago we told our families at Christmas that we were beginning the adoption process? Maybe it seemed like it dragged at times, but Jordan is definitely here now, even if sometimes we still can't believe it.

i heard the bells on christmas day 
their old familiar carols play 
and wild and sweet 
the words repeat 
of peace on earth goodwill to men

I've always loved learning the history to some of the more popular hymns. This year especially, I can't help but think of the song I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day. It's a popular story, and so you can tune out the next few sentences if you want. Based on a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, it was written after the death of his wife and a serious injury to his son during the height of the Civil War and later revised and set to music in the 1870s, which was the traditional lyrics and tune that is still sung in most churches today. I personally happen to like both of these versions (below) a tad better, each for a different reason. The melody we are familiar with in our hymnals always seems too bright and cheery, especially considering the words to the second verse.

and in despair I bowed my head 

"there is no peace on earth" I said 

for hate is strong 

and mocks the song 

of peace on earth goodwill to men 

There have been hospital stays, tests, unexpected health issues, job concerns, deaths in the family, etc. But I can't limit it to just our own family of three, or even our extended family. Even this Thanksgiving and Christmas have been different as we have spent the majority of the two holidays with just the three of us home, keeping Jet as healthy as possible. However, it would be unfair to consider that the world revolves around our little family. The world gets smaller every day I've heard--truer words have never been spoken. There's been political divisiveness, racial tension, terrorist attacks. There's the refugee situation in Europe, the ongoing crisis in Aleppo. There's the persecution of Christians by ISIS. I think our friend Henry would probably come up with the same words in 2016 as he did in the 1860s.

When we first brought Jordan home, his pediatrician wanted us to check his hearing because sometimes heart defects and hearing loss go hand-in-hand. Actually, we never followed through with the referral because it soon became clear to us there was absolutely no problem with his ears. We live within walking distance to four different churches, so depending on the distance from our home, we are able to hear them every hour, half hour, or quarter hour every day, and usually Jordan is the one to point them out whether we are inside or out (although you ask him to pick up his toys and he can't hear you at all...). We hear them in the hospital chapel, or from the storefront bell ringers. Jordan has an obsession with them...but nothing was quite as exciting as our first snow this year and hearing the bells. You have to admit there is something magical about snow falling and church bells ringing.

then pealed the bells more loud and deep 

"God is not dead nor does He sleep" 

the wrong shall fail 

the right prevail 

with peace on earth goodwill to men

Like I mentioned in in our last post, it's all about perspective. In the grand scheme of things, we have no reason to complain and every reason to be thankful. And so I'll share some of the things that have brought us peace, joy, and hope this year and Christmas season. Many of Jordan's doctors and nurses have asked to pray for or with us before or after a procedure or test. I don't know about you, but that's not something I expect anymore. Friends and family coming around us during a crisis--hospital visits, meals, etc. Having Jordan open presents and saying "thank you" (or his equivalent of a Chinese/English Xie Xie/Thank You) without being prompted--parenting win although that should really be credited to his Morning Star Family. Having family understand that things are different for us right now, and with no questions asked dropping everything to drive down to help or rearranging their schedules to accommodate us. Knowing that Jordan's a healthy boy who just needs a little "maintenance" (and really, don't we all?) Maybe most of all--having our son, who has only known us for six months, give big hugs and I love yous when one of us comes home. I'll take that Christmas gift. 

Recently, I purchased this as a reminder to us. It reads If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.--Mother Theresa. This is not my house by the way--not even close; when I say I recently purchased this I mean two days ago and it just shipped yesterday. You can buy this (along with many other fun items) here. But I think the lyrics "the wrong shall fail, the right prevail" can only start at home. So hopefully, we will pass on goodwill and peace toward men as we go along at this crazy thing called parenting, and maybe you can join us in our endeavors. Looking forward to this New Year coming soon and everything it brings! 

Merry Christmas again from the Tanii. Love to you all! 

-Derek, Mary, and Jet/Jordan/Jo

Perspective

In case you've missed it, Jordan's been in the hospital. (Newsflash!)  Hopefully and most likely he will be coming home tomorrow, provided he can maintain his current oxygen levels on his own without any supplemental. I'm not going to sugarcoat it...this is the fourth time we've dealt with this since August, but by far probably the scariest and the first time he's had to be admitted for it. (To be fair, one other time they wanted to admit him but we said it was unnecessary because we knew what prescriptions he needed and what they were giving. Since we're experts and all.)  And to continue this honesty train, we are growing quite tired of it.

Do you know his typical diagnosis for these breathing issues is the common cold? Something that for you and I is just an annoyance or aggravation is quite serious for Jordan. It's not something that we take lightly or that we joke about (much--we do call him a Special Snowflake, but it's all in love--and he's our special snowflake). We're to the point though that if he gets a runny nose, we immediately start our albuterol and have a game plan in place for the next day (or that day, since it is usually 3am).

Typically, the conversation is something like this:

Me: What meetings do you have tomorrow?

Derek: I am free between x and y, and would like to try to be at meeting at z.

Me: Ok. I have an appt at qrs but that can be rescheduled. I'll call triage if it gets worse or I'll wait 'til the peds office opens to see if they'll let us bypass ER this time. I'll text you with what I find out. 

And scene. Back to bed. 

This time, we did get the appointment with the pediatrician, and when we woke up I gave him his prescribed treatment of Pulmicort (twice daily to coat those special lungs). Unfortunately, it didn't help and he got significantly worse--enough that I decided 911 would be wisest thing to do as I can't drive and monitor the backseat no matter how close we live to the hospital (less than five minutes). To summarize, we were admitted within forty five minutes of arriving at the ER and Jordan was given oxygen support as well as his normal breathing treatments (plus albuterol). AND still his oxygen hovered high 80s with 40-60 breaths per minute, while dropping into the 70s when he was upset (and by upset, I actually just mean plain angry). 

Now, I know to some of you that seems super serious. And it could be, or could have been. After all, if this is what the common cold does, what would pneumonia or viral bronchitis or any number of more serious lung issues do to him? We know with 99% certainty that his pulmonary hypertension is the cause of this and we could see a significant decrease in these episodes once the required surgery is done. However, at this time, there are other contributing factors as to why that surgery has not been scheduled. (For example, the mitral valve repair will be more in depth than originally planned, and an unrelated issue regarding placing leads for a pacemaker needs to be solved first.) 

And yes, this was serious, and scary, and as previously stated, getting old fast. But this past week has put some perspective on that. I mentioned somewhere (facebook? Insta? It all runs together...) that this week has been full of ups and downs. For example, a precious little girl, one of J's "sisters" in China, that we very seriously considered submitting for earlier this week but did not, passed away just a few days ago--the very day another family submitted their letter of intent to adopt her--due to her own heart issues, only one week after her file made it to the USA. Other siblings of Jordan's from his foster home are no longer with us, with their hearts healed and whole with Jesus. 

So in reality, what do we have to complain about? Oh goodness, how terrible to live five minutes from the best children's hospital outside Chicago? And an ambulance makes it just that much faster. Oh stars, Jordan's oxygen is in the 80s! Listen, there are heart moms out there that would love for their kids to hit sats of 50. Or even 40. What? We have to wait indefinitely for Jordan's surgery? How inconvenient. We can't schedule our vacation until we know that. There are families who go to sleep every night, wondering if their child will ever qualify for surgery, or if surgery will be able to be done "in time"...or even wake up the next morning. This is not for dramatics, friends. This is real. 

We are blessed. We don't always act like it or show it. I will be the first to admit my frustrations over the past few days haven't been a Christ-like reflection. Our son is healthy and happy. His lungs just work a little harder sometimes, and we have to be extra careful with colds and teething and other aggravations to them, but they are fixable. This is not to say we won't be having a conversation with Jordan's doctor to see what or if something can be done sooner. But we can be patient. (I've been told it's a Fruit of the Spirit...as is self-control...which I did not point out. This is called irony, my friends.) We can be understanding. We can accept answers we may not want to hear...because we all want what's best for Jordan. 

Tonight, before I left the hospital, we snapped a picture of one of our favorite books we read to Jordan. He knows it well enough to "read" it himself by now as it's part of our bedtime routine. It's called The Story I'll Tell, and I'm sure I've talked about it before. It tells the story of a family adopting a little boy from China, and the different, adventurous ways they explain how he came home...ending with the truth, because--as the book says--that's a beautiful story too. It also doesn't gloss over the trauma of adoption, and since Jordan can't actually read we improvise some of the ending about his homecoming (see here). I cannot recommend this book highly enough, especially because there are so few books written about boys' adoptions from China. But we know that it's not enough to tell him his history. And right now, there are three verses that come to mind. I know some people claim a life verse, but I tend to go with situational. Life changes too frequently. Right now, it's these:

I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Psalm 119:11 

*This is why we read, study, and memorize God's word. 

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

*God is God. I am not. Plain and simple. 

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one....And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deut. 6: 4, 6-7

*This. This is our task. It is our responsibility to teach Jordan his heritage, to tell him the story of his birth and adoption. But ultimately it's our responsibility to pass on our faith, his heavenly heritage: the story of God's adoption of us with the hope that someday Jordan will embrace that as his own--doubly adopted.  Jordan is little, and doesn't always understand, but he is watching us and our reactions. That's something to keep in our peripheral as we proceed in the future. To remember that, in our earthly perspective, in the scheme of things? These little blips? To check our reactions. People are watching us. And we are thankful for our healthy son, who just needs some extra help sometimes. 

NAM2016: Six Months In

It has been a very long day. Of course, since I'm a glutton for punishment, yesterday I spent cleaning out Jordan's room and put away all of Jordan's summer clothes that just don't fit plus his Gotcha Day outfit and the toys and bottle he came with. Yes, the bottle he came to us with. The one that is in almost every single one of our China pictures, plus probably most of the photos from the first months home. Yes, we both cried when I put it in the box (but for different reasons). So really, I did not prepare well emotionally (or physically) to get through today.

And if you had told me I would be writing about our six month anniversary of the day we became a family of three from a hospital room, I probably wouldn't have believed you. Although we've known this testing would be coming and expected it, it's one thing to anticipate and push it aside and another completely to be sitting in an uncomfortable chair with interruptions for chest x-rays and vitals and meds. Derek is actually in the comfortable chair. I'm on the couch that pulls out into a bed, but it isn't quite long enough to sit on comfortably. Our room is actually really nice--so I shouldn't complain about anything except for my height not quite working to my advantage for once.

If you've been following our Jet Landing Facebook page then you'll know that Jordan had a stent placed during his heart catheterization, fixing one of his issues. However, the other is still to be decided. Our cardiologist was very firm that he will need surgery, but they (the team of cardio surgeons) will be discussing whether to do it sooner than later. Derek and I personally would prefer sooner while he is still little and won't remember it as much, plus could hopefully bounce back quicker than if he was older. Of course, when they say later, we don't know if they mean next summer or when he's six or sixteen. The risks of waiting would be possibly allowing permanent irreparable damage to muscles, veins, and arteries in the heart but on the other hand, but they just need to evaluate if there is a benefit to waiting.

Hospital Selfie! Happy 6 Months!
 Hi Pom Pom!

We are tired. There is simply no other way to phrase it other than physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally just exhausted. Derek says intellectually doesn't count, but I do, since Jack Sparrow also agrees. Jordan is tired, probably with all of those things too. It really been a long six months of doctors and emergency rooms and conferences and phone calls and medication updates and changes and plain old education about his heterotaxy (which Google tells me is not a word, but it is.)

We're so, so happy to have this procedure behind us. Hopefully anytime it is needed in the future it will just be a routine event (and yes, the stent will have to grow with him, so it will be needed in the future). Our questions for the most part have been answered. We're still waiting on the surgical team to determine the next course of action but at least there will be a game plan in place instead of all the balls up in the air.

But...

We signed up for this. We knew, starting with the submission of our LOI (Letter of Intent--whoa...flashback to March of this past year) that this would be a possibility. Adoption is scary. There are no guarantees. It's a leap of faith that, quite honestly, you just have to close your eyes, take a hugely deep breath, and jump. We didn't know anything about how this would end up--and we still don't.

Yet it's still so totally worth it. Never would trade it, ever. Jordan has brought more joy to our lives and those around him than we could have imagined. The number of people who have stopped us to pray for us and for him--even doctors and nurses--still astounds me. He is silly,sassy, wild, talkative, extroverted, and loves an audience. (Opposites surely do attract; or maybe this is God's sense of humor again.)

Thank you for those of you who helped us bring him home. Thank you for those of you who have supported us so far. We're only six months in, and sometimes that can seem like forever to some people...but in reality it's still just a fraction of his life that he's spent with us--and a very tumultuous six months it's been for him. And although he can't yet tell us, we hope he also agrees that our family is pretty awesome with the three of us.

Perhaps you've tuned in to the blog this month because it's National Adoption Month or to see more in depth about how our trip to China went. And maybe you're tired of hearing about our trip or our adoption. That's fine! Sometimes, we got tired of reliving it. (Is that bad to admit? I'm not sure.) But the one thing I hope that's made a difference to you, whether you are just tuning in now or you've been with us since our very first post when we were just two people recording our travels, is the impact you can have on the life of a child. Derek and I have adopted one child. Just one. We hope to support dozens more. And, welcome more into our home someday. And there are families who adopt three, six, eight, or even ten children. There are good families who foster kids who have no other options but to move on from their biological parents--whether temporarily or permanently. There are children in Syria, in the Middle East, scattered across Europe in general who have no home, no clothes, and no food. There are women--girls--who find out they're pregnant and don't know what to do and how or if to proceed with the pregnancy because they have no other options.

These are not exaggerations. These are facts. The important thing to remember is that you can do something. It doesn't have to be traveling to China. It doesn't have to be opening your home to foster care or adopting a child. It doesn't have to be permanent! It can be lunch at your local public school with some of the kids who need a role model. It can be donating some diapers to your local women's pregnancy crisis center. It can even be financially supporting a family whom you know is adopting--or has adopted in the past! But please, please, do something. I promise, you can.