Home

Where we love is home-

Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. --Oliver Wendell Holmes

Shortly after welcoming Judah home, we found a house, or shall I say The House, that we knew was what we were looking for in our forever home. We like to say this is the home we will die in, or the home we will live in until our children force us out. It's not huge, it's not updated, and moving certainly wasn't on our summer to-do list, but it's exactly right for us--both now and in the future.

Except we have two 3 year olds, one who doesn't like change and another who faced an incredible amount of change in a very short period of time.

Explaining that we were moving to a new house, driving past the new house, even going on the inspection of the new house still didn't prepare them for what moving from one house to another would be like. Even now, if I'm out with them running errands, one of them will still ask "Are we going to the new house?" as if the old house is still an option.

Then we went on a couple vacations, had a couple hospital stays/trips, and had some family stuff come up, and Derek and I would make the mistake of saying "We're going to head home", meaning "We're going to head back to wherever we're sleeping."

Again, our two 3 year olds don't understand that, and assume we are headed home to the house we live in.

So we did some quick thinking, and now when we are out of town or not sleeping in our house, and say we are headed home, we ask just these three questions if they are confused:

Are you a part of a family?
Are we a family?
Are we your family?

Once their answers are yes, always yes, our next sentence is "Home is wherever our family is."

It's simple, it's basic, it's age appropriate...but it is also true.

Whether we are in our house, on vacation, in a hotel room or in a hospital room, we are a family. We are together, and that means we're home. Family is home, and home is family.

But sometimes, because of circumstances we can't control, families aren't together. Sometimes a family member is sick and in the hospital, whether for a quick or extended stay. Sometimes, a beloved family member, no matter the age, has passed on, going Home to where they are healed and whole. And sometimes, someone's family is working hard, waiting, praying for them to come home and to be a part of a family, to be a part of their family.

I think we can all relate to at least one of those instances. That's what inspired the design of these shirts. For us, a member of our family isn't home yet. For a little person on the other side of the world, he or she is still waiting for a home and a family.

If you would like to purchase a shirt that says Home is where Family is, you can click here, the photo of the t-shirt above, or the t-shirt photo on the blog's homepage. By doing so, you'll help us bring home our newest and youngest--and yet unknown--family member.

We have set a high goal of selling 100 shirts, and we hope and pray we can meet that goal. We have a variety of colors and options available, for children and adults. If you've made a purchase, you should have your new shirts by the middle of November. Thank you, very much, to each of you who has bought a shirt so far, and to those of you who have donated on top of purchasing a shirt. Thanks for being a part of our family.

A Tale of Two Names

I have to admit, Derek and I struggled quite a bit finding a name for Judah. Nothing on "The List" we've carried around and added and subtracted to and from seemed to fit, and we wanted to make sure his name would mean something to him and to us, just as Jordan's does. Having two names that start with a "J" was not planned, simply a coincidence, and we apologize to all of their future teachers. 

Jordan's name was instantaneously easy to decide. For Judah though, we were completely unprepared and had nothing picked out...and nothing we both agreed on. We were even fearful to pick a name while we waited for our pre-approval to come through (which took most of the month of August), just in case we ended up being denied.

What we did know was we wanted a name he wouldn't be ashamed to carry.

That's a weird statement to make, maybe here in the States, but in the country where our boys are from names carry meaning. Some names, given to abandoned children, even point toward the child's difference or special need; and that name given to them as children stays with them for life, branding them, adding to the social stigma of their special need in addition to being an orphan.

For the record, neither of our boys' names given by their orphanages points toward their physical differences. Should they want to be called by those names someday or if they return to their country of birth for work, school, or whatever reason, that's their decision. We'll always make sure they know their full names. Still though, we struggled. Should we keep some of Judah's name and incorporate it into his new one? But we didn't do that for Jordan, so would that matter to Jordan someday? Probably not. What if it did? And so, we were stuck.

Two sons: one with internal differences not seen to the naked eye, and one with more obvious external differences.

Two sons: both with emotional needs and differences that coincide with their physical ones.

Jordan: to honor the choice Derek's birthmother made. Because of her brave decision, Derek's life, my life, Jordan's and Judah's, were forever changed.
Ezekiel: to honor the ones who cared for him as "Zeke", a name meaning God will strengthen.

Judah: praised, to be praised (Hebrew). Praise, because Judah will be an orphan no more, and instead a beloved son in our family. 
Lev: lion (Russian), heart (Hebrew). It might seem odd that our non-heart boy has a name meaning heart, but that was not a mistake. It will hopefully serve as a reminder to him that he's got a lion-sized heart full of brave that will help him in the next few months, and years, as he adjusts to his new life here and learns he can do hard things. We can do hard things. 

Two sons, adopted into our family, as if they were born to us. There is no difference between a biological child and our adopted children. They are just children. Adoption is a physical act, an action, a verb. It is not a definition, a qualifier, an adjective.

It's a part of their history, but it will not be something that forever defines their place in our family.

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him--Romans 8:15-17

Adoption could not be a clearer picture of God's grace. There is nothing, nothing we've done to deserve it, no reason at all why He chose us, but He did. And because of that, we are forever grafted into the family of God as His children and heirs. And we'll continue to shout it until we are blue in the face.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name, you are mine.--Isaiah 43:1b

Jordan Ezekiel, Judah Lev. You are ours. You are God's.

NAM2016: One Less

It is estimated that there are over 140 million documented orphans in the world per UNICEF. Approximately half of the 19.5 million registered refugees in the world today are children. Although only one third of the world's population, children make up over half of those in the world living in extreme poverty. Over 250,000 children in the United States enter the foster care system every year (more than half are able to return to their families) with over 20,000 aging out of the system without adoption. There are approximately 415,000 children in the United States foster care system with approximately over 17,000 of them in IL. Over 104,000 children in the United States foster care system are waiting to be adopted.

That's a lot of numbers and statistics, but I'm married to an engineer. If you're interested in even more statistics, click here.

Orphan care wasn't something that Derek and I fully understood when we first decided to pursue adoption two years ago. Sure, adoption is a facet of orphan care--and a big one--there's no denying that. I think we've all heard the statistics "If there are x number of Christians in the world, and y number of orphans, then it is each Christian's duty to adopt so that there would be no more orphans."

But first, exactly, what is an orphan? What does an orphan look like? A simple google of the definition of the word brings the obvious answer of "a child who has lost both parents, or less commonly, one parent, to death." Yet, the term orphan is also defined as "a person that is without protective affiliation, sponsorship, etc."

"Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause." Isaiah 1:17

For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me...'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me. Matthew 25: 35-36, 40

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and probably catch some flak for saying this, but I disagree with the common statement that I've seen on Facebook and other social media that since God commands the care of orphans, every Christian needs to adopt--thus eliminating the need for orphan care. I will, however, say that every Christian is called to do something. Anything. We are not limited to foster care or adoption.

That can be child sponsorship.
That can be making hygiene kits to send to refugee children.

That can be adoption through foster care. 

That can be short term foster care.
That can be financial support to families who are doing any of those things--and yes, they need that support, and unless you have experienced it firsthand--more than you can know.
That can be using your gifts and abilities as a medical resource to answer questions about a child's file.
That can be respite care, or bringing a meal, or shopping for a family who just received a new foster placement.
That can be cleaning someone's house while they are traveling to bring their child home, or cleaning someone's house simply because they don't have the energy to do so while caring and bonding with new child.
That can be volunteering your time to serve at the local pregnancy crisis center.
That can be paying for the groceries of the teen mother in front of you with her newborn.
That can be volunteering your lunch hour to spend at an inner city school to share a meal with a student.
That can be providing emotional support to a family adjusting to a new child.
That can be supporting an organization that helps keep families together.

And yes, that can be adoption, both international and domestic.

You may have other ideas you can add to this list! Please do share! Derek and I chose to adopt from China. That's just where we felt led to serve. In the future, our hope and prayer is to go back for another son or daughter should that be what we're called to do. In the short term, we hope to be a resource to however God wants us to be used. This Orphan Sunday, Derek and I celebrate with children and families that have adopted to say there is "one less" orphan in the world. Please, join us in helping make other families be able to say there is one less--whether that's one less child going hungry, one less child feeling unsafe, or one less child without a forever family.

Baby Tanis November 2014

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Other resources for you:
http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/
http://www.theforgotteninitiative.org/
https://cafo.org/orphansunday/
https://www.samaritanspurse.org/