Three Birthdays, Three Families

Independence at its finest

It's already the 24th in China, and that means it's already Jordan's birthday! He's officially two! And, boy, is he really two. I won't say it's the terrible twos, at least not out loud or commit to it in writing, because while frustrating it's great that he is developing normally! He's asserting his independence more and more every day, and I don't know where he picks up half of the things he's learning but he does. I stopped counting words that he says and uses correctly, because it would occupy the majority of my day, and since he's been using the "two by two" (two word phrases by two years old) for a few months now I am unconcerned about his language skills. His physical strength is improving too--still doesn't exactly leave the ground when he "jumps" or have the upper body strength to pull himself up and out of his crib (not a terrible thing), but I've found he very much lives by the motto "when there's a will, there's a way." And boy, does he ever find a way (and the will) when he needs to.

We aren't doing much to celebrate; first of all, it was just Christmas so he has lots of gifts and toys to play with (and some yet to be opened), and second of all...he's two. He doesn't really understand what his birthday means yet. But, we did get him a few things and we'll be having his favorite Chinese noodles for dinner plus maybe going out to get cake shakes from The Little Raven Creamery...because Mommy isn't baking a birthday cake and cake shakes are awesome. In the meantime, while he's supposed to be napping (yet I can hear him singing and playing with his animals in his crib), I figured I would write a letter--to him, and to whomever is reading, to understand a little more what birthdays mean to us, and to possibly other adoptive families.

Dear Jordan, 

We have loved getting to know you these last seven (almost eight) months! Every day, you amaze us with something new, and we admire and love your silliness, your stubbornness, and your resilience. Those three things, while at times (quite) frustrating to us, will get you pretty far in life, and we can't wait to see how God will turn your little light into a big light for Him. 

But at some point, you'll understand that although you turned two, your previous "birthdays" were celebrated with two other families. We'll do everything in our power to support you and help you remember them, and the sacrifices they made for you in love. 

First pictures we received of J.
Approx. 1 year old. 

Your first birthday was celebrated with your Ayi and your Morning Star brothers and sisters, where the common thread you shared were special warrior hearts. Some of them are no longer with us, but most others of them are home with their forever families. Hopefully, someday we can all get together and meet and talk about your shared experiences. In the meantime, us parents try to stay in touch with you and your siblings--because that's what they were to you--and talk about your milestones and setbacks and adjustments to life with your forever families. We also will never let you forget the amount of people who prayed for you and supported you during your time at MSFH, before we even knew you were ours. 

And of course, we will work even harder to help you understand your actual Birth Day. How you have a birth mother and father on the other side of the world, who, we believe with all of our hearts, gave you a chance at life because they loved you so much--the ultimate sacrifice. Because of your complicated little heart, it's bittersweet, since we know that without them making sure you were found quickly, you would not be with us now. Birthdays are so hard, because we know that they are remembering you and hoping you received the care they so desperately knew you needed, yet if they were able to we know that they would have done everything to keep you with them--because that's what we would have done in their shoes too. 

You'll hear your whole life how beautiful adoption is. 

One month old 

But don't ever forget that adoption is courage, and adoption is loss too; and it's okay to mourn for that loss. We understand, because we are right there with you. It's so hard to put into words that we wouldn't give you up for anything...yet know that others bravely did just that. 

So please remember, and we'll help you until you're old enough to understand, you have three families celebrating and remembering you on your birthday, every year. We believe that God placed you here for a reason, and we will do our absolute best to help you learn and grow and find your purpose, as we promised when you officially became ours. We love you Jordan, and so many others do too.

Jordan, and so many others like him, were given financial and prayer support until they were matched with their forever families. Because of organizations like Morning Star, Jordan, along with many others, was able to receiving his life saving heart surgery through monthly sponsorship and donations. You can check out their website here (and maybe spot a picture of baby J), and if you so feel led to sponsor a child please check out their current Let Hope Shine-China Project. Yet the MSF goes a step further, and has what they call their Love Project. Donations to a project such as this would help families like Jordan's: that they would not have to be faced with the devastating choice of having to give up their child...or just give up. These donations enable Morning Star to come alongside these families, and help pay for life saving surgeries, or medications, or whatever is needed for family preservation.

There are many other organizations such as these, but for obvious reasons, this one is near and dear to our hearts. You can follow them on Facebook and Instagram for updates on their current kiddos. Of course, if you know of others to sponsor or follow, please do so! The ultimate goal for all of these types of organizations is to provide support for family preservation until there are no more orphans. Thank you for your consideration in supporting these at the very least, in prayer.

New Years and Red Threads on Red Threads

Exactly two years ago, we celebrated our New Years with what we still affectionately call our "press release." (You can read that here, if you're feeling nostalgic.) We announced to our friends and family our intentions to adopt our first child from China, and although we had no idea of an exact timeline we had hoped and prayed that we would be home with our son or daughter by the end of 2016. Lo and behold, that proved to be true by more than six months!

This post isn't a recap of our adoption process, or a rehash of our 2016--I think we can all agree there are a lot of those floating around and I have no desire to add to that list. However, one thing that I was remiss in showing in its completion was the puzzle piece fundraiser you all so generously donated to in our effort to bring Jordan home. If you want to see it in person, hanging in Jordan's room--and in color--to see where your name is, come on over! Otherwise, here is a photo I took in black and white before we get it framed. (We're very pleased with how it turned out by the way; I was very concerned that the majority of your names or words would be upside down, but they weren't!) I realize it's a little hard to read in the gray scale, but I've never been one to appreciate having my name splashed all over a donation or the internet without forewarning so we kind of made that the rule here too. Plus, again, this gives you a reason to stop on by the house to find your name(s) (and maybe a reason for me to clean it before you come).

You may be wondering though...this looks like the back of the puzzle? You'd be correct. The front of the puzzle looks like this--originally we had an orange one but due to some (ahem) technical difficulties we had to change to the other one we had--which is gray. All 252 pieces were "sold" and have a name, bible verse, or specific wording on the back. The frame will be double sided, so while we will probably display with all the names for Jordan to read some day, he will also be able to choose to view the true meaning of everyone's contribution. Family.
Jiātíng. You helped us build ours, and we're forever grateful, but you also helped a little boy connect with his forever family, which he will also be able to remember for the rest of his life. 

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch of tangle, but will never break. --Chinese proverb

So where does that bring us for 2017? Well, we aren't sure. But maybe you noticed the new little Jordan at the top of the blog holding up a red heart balloon. He's pretty cute, don't you think? I have an awesome sister who does all sorts of graphic stuff for me...but especially when it comes to her future niece/nephew. We know that this next year will be different and some parts harder than others--but can't you say that about any year? What we do know is this: we have hope. We have hope that we'll have answers to a lot of health questions in the next few months. We have hope that Jordan will continue his good health. And maybe most of all, we are hoping that there is another red thread out there, connecting us with a little sister or brother for Jordan. We've been on the waiting child list since about a month or so after we got home (so almost seven months now), and specifically for another heart baby. We are hoping for a match yet within 2017, with possible travel in 2018. That may sound incredibly far away, but remember, it was only two years ago that we announced our intentions for adopting a child who was not yet even born. 

So right now, please join us in our hope for 2017. And pray with us that God will provide as he sees fit. Health, timing, and finances--and especially financially since we will be starting at basically ground zero. As we've been reminded though, throughout the past two years, God's providence is unwavering. He has provided and will provide, as He sees fit for our needs. And join us in praying for our future daughter or son--Jordan's sister or brother (and let's be honest, this kid NEEDS a sibling), who may already be born yet and facing medical needs we have no way of helping at this time.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3: 20-21