Making a List

Right after I started cleaning out the refrigerator this afternoon I decided that blogging sounded like much more fun, so here we go. It's not a super exciting post--just a catch-you-up on our fall happenings.

We've been working down (and across) our list of document requirements provided by the agency. As you can see, there really isn't much left that needs to be done for our dossier prep! Right now, the majority of our paperwork is being authenticated by the U.S. Department of State; once we get those back then we send the documents to the Chinese Embassy in Washington D.C. to be authenticated.

You might have to squint to see it, but there are two line items that are pretty blank. Last night we were checking our list of what still needed to be done and realized we had somehow completely skipped one of the documents--whoops! Plenty of time to get that done. We're also waiting on approval from USCIS/immigration, which is the other big blank space on our To-Do list. Once all of those blanks are checked for each document, then we send to CCAI for critical review before it all goes off to China. If you want to feel really cool and special, I'd recommend you brush up on your adoption alphabet soup, so you can say fun things like "So once you're DTC, how long before you're LID?" or "I'm so excited you're LOA! That was the shortest time ever from your LOI!" Just a side note, once our dossier completion is only the beginning...nothing can happen until that's done!

If you're interested, here's a list of everything!

So what else has been happening? Well, we went to Florida for a last trip before our Next Big Trip to China. We had planned to go to Seattle, the Rockies, or San Diego...but both of us just wanted to sleep, eat, and sit on the beach. If you have never, ever been to Seaside, you need to go. Best beach vacation ever. But...more on all that at a later date.

Shortly after we got back from Florida, we went camping at Starved Rock with our friends Clint and Jessica. You may remember our last (and only) camping experience (see here if you need a refresher), so I was skeptical to say the least...the very least. 

But, it didn't rain, the weather was beautiful, we were close to the restrooms that included showers, and we went hiking and to a couple wine tasting rooms. It was a win-win for everyone! The worst thing that happened was that my nutella fry-pie burnt to a cinder block. We'll take it!

We're still working on fundraising for the adoption, and we're so thankful to everyone who has helped out so far! A few highlites:

• We had a Pampered Chef fundraiser around the beginning of October that raised over $200 that went to our account with our agency. Thank you to everyone who came--my aunts even drove down from Chicago to come! 
• Tomorrow I'm having a Noonday Collection Trunk Show with 10% of purchases going to our agency! (Click here if you're interested in purchasing!). Every little bit helps!
•  My sister also made a bunch of these ornaments (below)--there's only a few left I think! Amazing! 
• Last but not least, we've sold over 60 puzzle pieces so far. Again, words cannot express how thankful we are to every single person who has contributed so far. Yes, indirectly you're helping us, but ultimately you're helping a child receive a family. 

Last but not least, Derek is hard at work fixing up the bedroom and making furniture for the baby/toddler/child (we really don't know what to call him/her). I don't want to steal his thunder because he's been taking pictures every step of the way, but here's a teaser photo of the room. Hopefully we will be able to move the table saw out before we're home from China. Casey has learned to adapt to the noise level by cowering as far away as possible at night and sleeping all day long to recover. What a life! 

So that's it. Enough of my ramblings, it's time to actually finish cleaning out the fridge. Next week we have our fingerprinting/biometrics appointment up in Chicago, so check back with us soon to find out if we've been approved or not!

Happy Monday

Setting: This past Thursday at 1:30 while at work.
Cast: SW: Social Worker; M: Me

SW: Mary? Is this a good time?

M: YES. ALWAYS. YES. WHAT? YES. 

SW: I'm afraid I have some bad news.

M: Multiple scenarios race through mind--Um...what?

SW: We will be closing our adoption program, and you're going to have to find a new agency to complete your home study. 

M: *crickets*

SW: *crickets*

M: Um....what?

SW: We will be closing our adoption program, and you're going to have to find a new agency to complete your home study. 

M: Just.....what? 

M: Tries very hard not to throw phone through the wall because I'm at work. 

To put this in perspective, we were pretty much done. We've been visited, interviewed, CPRed, fingerprinted, blood tested and background tested. We were good to go! And...then this happened. 

And so, as of Thursday at 1:30, we had no home study, no plan, and no clue. To summarize, we were going to have to either find or transfer our home study (depending on how new agency would handle it) and go from there. This would add at least a month (not terrible), and in the interest of full disclosure, an additional $2,500 to the final cost (a lot closer to terrible). 

Talk about disheartening. Frustrating. Anger-inducing. 

However, through a series of phone calls, emails, texts, posts, and prayers...we've gone from last Thursday's "I have some bad news" to this:

We reached out to friends almost immediately last Thursday (really, I'm pretty sure I updated our Sunday School class before Derek was able to contact me after the phone call...sorry Derek) and knew you all were praying for us. This wasn't life-altering or devastating, but it was a serious expense and inconvenience. To be sitting on the other side, it's easy to think "oh, we must have overreacted, because this was SO easy to solve." 

But I don't think that's the case. 

Instead, we're choosing to believe God heard and answered our prayers. CCAI approved our homestudy. Our original agency signed off on our home study--and is delivering it tomorrow. Our new social worker/agency is visiting tomorrow afternoon. Done, done, and done. Plus, (best for last) we only have to pay our new agency a $250 deposit/credit that will be used for our post-adoption visits. Honestly, I don't know why we are continually surprised when our prayers are answered. We are, and we shouldn't be. Once again, we've been reminded that we are so definitely not even a little bit in control of our situation, but God is. And once again, I'm thankful for a God that doesn't get tired of reminding us of that.

For an updated list of prayer requests, please visit the Get Involved page. Thanks! 

Opposites and Marriage

In case anyone thinks that working on adoption paperwork with your spouse is a great way to pass the time, let me just say this...

BAHhhahahaha. 

Sorry, no. It's really not, at least for us. 

Never has it been more clear that we have completely different personalities. 

Before we were married, our pastor required us to take a personality test for couples as part of our premarital counseling. (By the way, I just checked; it's still available. You can take the test with your spouse here. Good luck!) Derek got cautious thinker, because hello, engineer! I got driver, because genetics. I think the point for us taking the tests was for the pastor to note any red flags for us to work through and beware of, but I really don't remember him saying anything other than "Hmmm, interesting. Those two personalities are excellent complements!" And I thought "Well, that's a good thing; opposites attract!" 

You are correct, Pastor Ken. It's interesting. 

Here is what those two personalities essentially have in common: we each need to be right. 

Here is what those two personalities do not have in common: one of us has to arrive at the decision by weighing out every possibility and dismissing the incorrect ones, and do not rush me, and the other sees one answer immediately and it's right, and why don't you believe me!

Honestly, it's really a wonder that things are completed in a timely manner. 

What we've finally learned (but don't always practice) is that those personality differences aren't actually bad. One of us is really, really good at catching minute details that the other overlooks. The other can make an on-the-spot decision when a situation arises. When we trust and have patience with each other, it really is amazing how quickly we can power through some of these processes. 

Tonight, we had an off night. We filled out a form that really should have taken five minutes (both of us agree on this, not just me, the driver) but actually took almost two hours...and that's okay. We live and learn, and move on to the next. Instead of letting these personality quirks get to us, we just need to remember that this is why we married the other. We're opposites. 

And that keeps it interesting. 

Keeping It Real

(not the rock star picture)

It is so easy to share the good stuff, the funny, the shallow. We can share the rock star picture from last weekend or the best lunch spot ever or the moat surrounding our tent when our went camping. And there's nothing wrong with sharing those things, plus it's fun to share them. But...when push comes to shove, it's hard to be all authentic all of the time. It's hard to say what's really going on. It's hard to admit when you're down or struggling...or maybe it's just me.

Let me ask you this. If you were to ask us how the adoption is going, what answer are you expecting? I realized recently my answer is typically either "Great! Thanks for asking! We're starting this or that and then doing this or that" or "nothing new to report; same old, same old."

But, some days, this is really more like it:

"The house smells like dog but I don't want to vacuum because I lost my good earrings and the social worker is coming in a half hour. We submitted our MCC a couple weeks ago, and now we're wondering if we made the right call on some of the conditions. We also submitted one of our first major payments last week and found out another is coming this week, sooner than we thought. We have twelve hours of training each and the last thing I want to do is sit through yet another webinar PowerPoint presentation. Plus, this morning we found out that the one file we both agreed on and inquired about is no longer available to us. And I am so, so tired of not knowing what in the world I am doing."

That will probably never be my Facebook status and I'm sure there's a hashtag character limit somewhere in Instagram. But just know that some days, we feel crabby and tired and overwhelmed like anyone else and it's not in our nature to admit that freely. (In fact, it's taken me four days to type this.) Forgive us when we seem like everything's perfect all the time or when it appears we aren't taking this seriously. We know in our hearts that we're doing the right thing, but some days our heads aren't quite there. Both of us work best with a detailed and outlined plan, preferably in spreadsheet form, and living in a constant state of uncertainty gets the best of us sometimes.

We're so appreciative and thankful for our friends, family, and especially our church family who let us share things on our own timeline and never push. The calls, the texts, the surprise candy bar deliveries to the house and coffee deliveries to work, the no judgement on our tumbleweeds of dog fur or the bottle cap your son found and tried to eat when you dropped by for the afternoon...we appreciate it more than you know. We are struggling for balance between this, family illness, and the normal stuff like late meetings and deciding whose turn it is to cook dinner. I'd like to say someday we will get it right, but more than likely not. Bear with us as we try to discern what's best for our family-both present and future. Ask questions so we know you care, yet be patient when it seems like sometimes we're unwilling to share. Understand why sometimes we say no, we aren't able to do something. Most of all, continue to pray for us whether you know what to pray for or not.

Surely, I cannot be the only one who ever feels this way. Hands up for the overwhelmed! I'm not a "I challenge you this week..." type of person, but I'll leave you with this reassurance tonight:

...my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. 
Philippians 4:19

Onward and Upward

Forward, not backward, upward, not forward, and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom. 

Shortly before eating this most awesome cake, (shout out to Trefzger's) we submitted our application to CCAI on 7/10/15! And, just so everyone is aware, we had help eating it. It wasn't just us, I promise! I will admit to having a piece for breakfast though.

Pretty much everything the past seven or so months hinged on submitting this application. Now that that's done, it's like we've hit the ground running. Funny how you go from doing nothing to doing everything! This is going to be a not too fun post and mostly informative for those of you who are curious about where we go from here.

Our second meeting with our social worker for our home study was last night, which went really well. Note to self, never assume they will tell you when they'll check the smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. Hey, at least one of them was working and installed! We have a few more things to do for the home study and then that will be done! Hooray! We are stretching that out a little so that we won't have to update our files in case we don't have our placement yet at this time next year. Any way to save a little money sounds all right with me!

We received our approval for our application for adoption from CCAI today too--and now we're really rolling! They gave a fancy-shmancy flow chart of our things to do to prepare our dossier and when to do them, which is probably my favorite thing ever! I do love a good check list. Here's a breakdown of how long each step should take (more or less):
     1) 5 days: Application approval--done!
     2) 1-2 weeks: Begin home study, begin to get forms and paperwork ready (this will be a theme...).
     3) 2-5 weeks: Create your Adoption Petition and Financial Statement, doctors' visits, police clearance reports, gather photographs, and a few other things.
     4) 5-10 weeks: Complete home study process, go through the checklist for your documents, get dossier information from USCIS.
     5) 10-20 weeks: Begin notarization, certification, and authentication (Did you know authentification is not a word? Just learned that!) for dossier documents. (Ah, paperwork.)
     6) Submit allllll of the above to CCAI for them to submit to the CCCWA.
     7) Celebrate!

There it is folks, dossier submission in just seven--that's right, seven--easy steps. You're welcome. (Yes, I can hear some of you laughing. There's definitely a reason it will take six months to complete!) If you are unfamiliar with any terminology from here on out, I did pick a few major terms and stuck their definitions here under our Resources page.

If you have any questions for us, we'd be happy to answer them! We may not know the (right) answer, but we will do our best. Thank you everyone for your prayers this past week; we all appreciated and felt every one of them!

Lots of points to the first person to get the quote. And not google it.

As always, stay tuned!

Just a Short One

Many of you have asked in the past week, so I thought I would post here that the fundraiser/benefit that was to be held August 15 is no longer taking place due to unforeseen circumstances. We are currently trying to decide what our plan B will be, or if there will be a plan B. Would you pray with us that God will reveal the direction we should take? We would surely appreciate it! 

In the meantime, a few of you have expressed some interest in still hosting small events. That's awesome! If this is something you feel led to do, please let me know and we'll go from there! 

Thanks everyone! We appreciate all of you! 

Life Goes On

Let me start by apologizing to anyone who ever came to our house. Apparently, it is not safe.

Before I explain that, let me just fill you in on what's been going on around here in the past few months. Bear with me, I think this is going to be the record breaker of long posts. Since we've been in a state of waiting for months now, we've just continued on with business as usual. 

First of all, Derek graduated and we spent the weekend in Madison. (I know, that's not really "new" news...but for the sake of documenting I'm still posting about it!)

Our littlest souvenir! 

We're all really proud of Derek and all his hard work, and appreciated my family and his coming with us to celebrate! It was a fun weekend; Madison is a cool place! 

In other news, it has been raining (more accurately, storming) here almost daily for pretty much the past three weeks. Of course, the first storm was the one that finally ended our tree. For those of you that know us, we've had a love/hate relationship with that tree since the first month we lived in this house. Every year we've lost a sizable portion of it, but since it never damaged the house we decided to leave it up since the quotes to remove it were not in our price range! However, that particular storm was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. And so...

You see, not only did the storm make our tree peel like a banana, it also pulled the electrical service from the house. (Basically, a repair that would require more than just the power company coming to turn us back on.) I will fully admit that, after assessing the damage, I turned to Derek and said that this wasn't fair. After all, of all the years and times for this to happen, spending thousands of dollars on tree removal was not what we wanted to do right now--we're supposed to be saving money, not spending it! Plus, we knew that with no real damage to the house insurance wouldn't be covering it. After the initial shock and panic I won't say that we were okay with it, but ultimately we concluded that things happen.

But. 

Less than an hour later, my friend Jenni called to say her dad (a retired electrician) was willing to hook our electric back up the next morning so we didn't have to call an electrician. Then, since a tree removal service was already in the neighborhood working on a lot of other trees, they gave us an awesome, awesome price. We actually got the tree removed and the electric working again for less than our homeowner's insurance deductible! Amazing, and an answer to prayer. Instead of thousands, it was less than one thousand.  

A few people commented to us on how God worked everything out to our favor. True. I would like to counter or add to that to say God was in control the whole time. He had it all planned out, and we just needed to trust him for whatever the outcome was. Thankfully, yes, it did work out the way we wanted, but ultimately it was more an exercise in faith for us to lean on the Lord no matter the outcome. After all, as little Lindy's picture on our fridge says "God keeps his promises." He is always faithful. 

In the meantime, Derek's family bought a camper, so we were invited to go camping with them. It was...an interesting experience. Before we left we discovered our tent was actually growing gross things, so we threw that away. Thankfully, we didn't need to buy a new one because my parents gave us their old one that can probably sleep an army. However, there was rain in the forecast. It didn't stop us though. 

Our "we're totally ready for this camping thing and it's going to be so fun" faces.

Fun 'til it wasn't. 

It didn't stop us until the next morning, because after approximately sixteen hours of rain our tent was surrounded by a moat. I'm all for sticking it out...but when everything is wet, it's time to call it. Would I call our first camping experience a success? Yes. We are still married. 

Seriously though, it was nice to camp with the family, even if it wasn't exactly what we had all hoped it would be. 

And..... now that you're caught up, this is what we did tonight. 

We realized that it's time to actually get our butt in gear, since July is fast approaching. We can now officially say our home study will begin (or continue) on July 15. Since we've lived by the "life goes on" motto, we suddenly realized that we have a lot more to do around the house, classes to take, etc. After going to Menards tonight (super fun date night), we stood in front of the "child-proofing" section and came to the conclusion that we have no idea what we are doing. So, we bought the basics--fire and carbon monoxide alarms (because ours have been broken for...?) and outlet covers. If anyone knows what else we will definitely, 100% need, please, help us out. Tell us, so we don't look like the fools we felt like standing in that aisle. 

Now that I've successfully talked your ear off, and most likely lost your interest 1000 words ago, we just wanted to thank you all for your prayers and support thus far. We will be really getting things moving in the next couple of weeks, so we would appreciate the continued prayer. We will continue to keep you updated on the goings on in our lives!

Success!

Eleven families donating, even more helping, months and hours of prep work and stress and clutter and (let's be honest) a chaotic mess of a house and garage finally paid off this past weekend for the garage sale to help us raise funds for our adoption. I won't bore you with (a lot) of words, but we are thankful for each person who came out and helped--however much or however little, it was greatly appreciated!

Without further ado, photos.

(Scroll all the way to the bottom for the grand total, if that's what you're looking for.)



The sign didn't go up until about 10, and even though we were technically not opening until noon on Friday, people were here at 8:15 to shop. I forgot the cardinal garage-saling rule of "If the garage is open, the sale is open."


Believe it or not, the above two photos were taken late Friday morning, after a lot of stuff had already cleared out. We were super busy pretty much from the get-go, so Derek was only able to snap a couple of quick photos.

We had some very professional lemonade stand help, who took "no thanks" quite personally. They really moved a lot of inventory! The beautiful sunny weather we had both days helped as well, as it did get quite warm just sitting in the sun. We did finally put a canopy up, which was super helpful!

My parents were able to come down for the weekend and got a lot of pricing and other stuff done that there was no possible way we would have had time to do. Plus, they brought an additional two carloads of items to sell, which was awesome! Derek's mom also worked pretty much all winter making scarves to sell at the garage sale too--big hit!

Shana and I were ready bright and early again on Saturday while Derek got coffee, ice, and a few other errands that I can't remember. Basically, sunscreen was a must! Have I mentioned the beautiful sunny weather yet? Perfect day for a garage sale. Fun fact, shortly after we took these photos a man came and bought pretty much all the chocolate chip cookies that my friend Jessica made--to share with his dog.



Friends of ours came by early afternoon on Saturday to help us pack up. Considering the amount that we started with, three (ish) carloads to Goodwill really wasn't that much leftover!

I've said it already, but we could not have done all of this without the help and support from our friends and family. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you for your prayers, your time, your help, and...your stuff. After all was said and done, the final tally (including around $200 in donations) was $1,765! It was amazing to hear how many people who purchased items who also had adopted and a few donated money because adoption is so close to their hearts. One lady even told her extended family to come back the next day, and they also donated! Ah-mazing.

We couldn't be more amazed by how God worked everything out--from the multiple nearby neighborhood garage sales to the weather to the amount of traffic created by the church and school down the street--it was all arranged by Him. I will admit to worrying (a lot) this week about bad weather and things not selling, but clearly that was all in vain. We in fact had hoped for around half of what we actually raised, so we are beyond thrilled to have reached almost 25% of our end goal of $7500.

We took it easy today to recover from the busyness of our week off (and one of us is recovering from a bad sunburn.)

(Spoiler alert, it was not me.)

Tomorrow, everything will start to go back to normal. In two weeks, Derek has his graduation in Madison, and then we will just slowly be preparing for the start of our home study. Thank you to those of you who have purchased puzzle pieces as well! We are grateful for every single person who is working with us for our little person on the other side of the world!

-------

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever, Amen.--Ephesians 3: 20-21

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It's Almost Here!

Hard to believe, but our garage sale is this Friday and Saturday! And it looks like the weather will be awesome! So, so thankful for that!

So far, eleven families have donated--not just one or two items, but car loads full! Every time we think we are done, we get a call or text from someone saying they have this or that and it turns out to be boxes worth! So very thankful for each and every one of you, whether you are donated items, tables, baked goods, or time! To say thanks doesn't really begin to cover how we feel, but please just know we couldn't do this without you!

My super cool sister made us this flyer to post/send out: 

Isn't it great? It's hard to fit everything on there but just so you know, we pretty much have everything from wool socks to fishing reels to 8-track tapes to our own small purse store!

Seriously, ask us if you're looking for something in particular. We probably have it. (FYI after the garage sale because I'm paranoid I will probably take down the flyer from here, but wanted to post so people would know where the garage sale is happening!)

Once again, I'm just going to post what we need in the next couple of days:

-As always, prayer. Prayer that we remember it's not about us and everything we've done, but to give God the glory for whatever the outcome is--and to be thankful, for whatever that outcome is. Every little bit that we earn ultimately is not for us, but it's for our son/daughter somewhere on the other side of the world. 

-We may possibly need another couple of tables. It's hard to know until we actually are able to set everything out. I know we're getting a few more tomorrow, but we really just don't know! 

-If anyone is available, we probably will need a couple of people on Saturday. The weather looks like it will be really nice, plus it is our neighborhood (and another nearby neighborhood) garage sale weekend so I am thinking it might be busy. Maybe. Hopefully. We'll see. 

That's all I can think of for now. Thank you to everyone again! Hopefully we will see you sometime this weekend! 

#pieceofthefamily

Now we can explain this #pieceofthefamily business!

Ok. As previously discussed, we need help to bring our child home from China. (By the way, cannot wait to not say "our child" and actually start using their name.) 

Many of these things I've mentioned, but here are a few more details. I'm kind of a list maker, so here is what we're doing so far:

1) Most importantly because it's most immediate, we are having a garage sale on May 1 & 2! I'm not broadcasting the whole thing online, because, you know, posting our address for the whole world to see isn't too smart. But, I can tell you, we have a lot of stuff! If anyone wants to donate still, you can drop it off and wedge it in the front door or else we will be home all next week to prepare. Things for sale include electronics (computers, TV, cables, etc.), kids items (toys, clothes), housewares (linens, frames, etc.), books, movies, clothes, and more. 

Most specifically needed: tables and a non-rainy day! If you have tables we can borrow, please let us know. And if you could pray for a nice day, we would appreciate it! Thank you everyone who has brought us things and offered to help so far, we are so grateful! We will have a couple postings locally, so you can check out more details there or ask one of us! 

2) If you happen to find the time, try googling ways people funded their adoption and you'll be amazed at the creativity! Then, if you're like me, realize you could not do even a fraction of that and feel very woe is me. To reassure yourself that you can still do some crafty things, on a whim you decide to crochet a blanket. Your friend catches you doing it and insists (INSISTS) that you make lots and she will sell them in her shop. You roll your eyes, because you never really planned on being a crocheting lady, but do it anyway because you're a tiny bit scared of her. You make a few, give her the first delivery...

Unrelated, D got a camera for graduation. 

and BAM! Within 24 hours, most of them have sold. Moral of the story: I have a new side job, and sore fingers. It's not much, but every little bit helps! 

3) #pieceofthefamily puzzle piece fundraiser (get it?):

• We bought a 252 piece puzzle (here if you want to see the picture)
• One piece is $20
• When you purchase one piece (or however many), we write your name on the piece.
• Once all the pieces are sold, we will have raised over $5000 toward our adoption! 
• After the names are written on all the pieces, we will frame and hang it in the nursery. That way, we will be able to show our son/daughter how many people loved him/her and helped bring them home! 
• If you're interested in this, please let us know. We haven't started selling any pieces yet, but hope to sell all 252 over the next year or so. 

4) #pieceofthefamily benefit: Honestly, I'm not really "in charge" of this one. I know I keep saying it, but all I know for sure is that it is August 15. Ladies, mark your calendars because there will be all sorts of vendors, trunk shows, etc.! August is wayyyy far away, and I'm not really focused on it yet!

Most of these things we weren't planning on doing, at all. It's really sort of crazy how God just sort of drops things in your lap! For example, I never planned to crochet, or do any sort of craft thing, at all. Now I am. And more amazingly, people are buying them! We never really had to ask people for donations for the garage sale, at all--friends and family just brought stuff or told us what they were bringing! I talked to my friend about how I didn't know how we were going to come up with the money, and she said "ok, I'm doing a fundraiser for you, and here's when it will happen." Friends, family, acquaintances--they were ready to help and we had no idea what we even needed. We still don't, most of the time. 

Both of us are just amazed, as in jaw-dropping, eyes bugged out amazed at how things are coming together. By no means do we anticipate this whole adoption thing to come so easily together, but the way we feel affirmed in our decision to adopt is indescribable thanks to our family and friends! 

Pun Intended

Get it?

We've sort of danced around the subject now for awhile, but since we've found ourselves answering this question a lot recently we thought here would be a good place to address it.

Adoption is expensive. Different types and countries cost different amounts, but our adoption to China will be around $31,000. (There are a couple things in there that are variable, such as travel and in-country expenses that we can guesstimate but can't predict an exact number.) We've been blessed financially, and both of us consciously work hard to use the gifts we've been given wisely, but we've been humbled enough to realize sometimes that isn't enough and we do need help. After looking at the timelines and praying/thinking about it the last six months or so, (and hearing from countless friends and family members who want to help), we've set our goal to raise $7500. That number will actually cover our home study ($2500) and most of our travel fees (airfare and in-country expenses).

This was not an easy decision to make, and honestly...it's super awkward. We really struggled with whether or not to ask for help, how much to ask for, and how to ask. And when people ask what we need...we really don't know what to say. Some extremely wise friends, who also adopted internationally, told us that if people want to help then let them, because to turn away their help would be to turn away God's prompting in them (I paraphrased).

So, what does this mean for you? Honestly, we aren't asking you for money. We're asking that you pray with us that people will help support us in this journey--and if that means financially, great! If not, there are other ways and that's just as great! But, ultimately, we now have an answer for what our needs are.

In an effort to be completely transparent, you can find a list of the fees and such here. If you have specific questions for us, just let us know.

How do we plan to achieve this? Click here to read how.

New and Improved, for now

Many of our friends and family members have asked if there's anything new in regards to The Process. Honestly, I can tell you right now, the answer is a big, fat no. Once we switched from our original country decision to only China, things slowed down. And by slowed down, really, it was more of a screeching halt.

You see, we were going to apply to two programs simultaneously as suggested by our original agency: one to Taiwan and one to China. We would be allowed to apply to Taiwan immediately (and we were on the fast track to get our home study done by end of 2014 to submit paperwork by May 2015) and then work on the China application once we were both 29.5. (In China, married couples have to be 30 years old to adopt but you can submit application at 29.5; in Taiwan, married couples have to be 26.) By dropping Taiwan, we are now waiting until July 10 to submit our application to the Waiting Child Program (WCP) for China. We had hoped to start our home study in May/June but a few other things have come up that were unplanned, so we'll be waiting to do that too.

Clear as mud, right? 

Honestly, if we had known that things wouldn't be moving as fast as we'd planned and hoped, we probably would have kept the news to ourselves a bit longer. Since we're so anxious to get things moving, I'd imagine some of you are too (or maybe it's just the grandmas and grandpas). It is a bit depressing, since if we had kept our original plans in place we'd be done with our home study and almost ready to submit our dossier. However, then we also would have a much longer wait for a referral...so really, it's six of one/half dozen of the other.  

I digress. 

Anyway, here is our new, and improved, timeline: 

1. May 1 & 2: Garage sale for the adoption at our house. I plan to post more about this in the next couple of days. We have many family members and friends who have dropped things off at our house, so we're excited to see how God uses this day. Please, please, please pray for good weather. If it isn't good weather, rain dates are May 8 & 9.
2. May 16: Derek's MEES graduation at UW-Madison. (Not related to adoption process, but still just as important!)
3. July 10: Derek's 29.5 year old birthday! There will be cake. And also...it's the day we can submit our official application for the WCP and the Medical Conditions Checklist.  
4. August 15: #pieceofthefamily fundraiser/benefit day, which is being thrown for us by my amazing friend Shana. We are beyond thankful and still shocked that she volunteered to do this for us, but I am excited to see what the day will bring!   
5. Sometime in May/June/July: Derek has another work trip (length TBD) to China on the calendar, which kind of throws a wrench into when we had planned to start the home study. As long as I get another picture like this one though, I'll let it slide. 

Shanghai
August 2014
The gym shirt really makes it, don't you think?

I think the best analogy (at least the one I've been using) is compare it to an engagement. When you first get engaged, it's this huge announcement, lots of questions (that you probably don't know the answer to), and a bunch of plans and dates you have to set...and then it's a long wait until the next flurry of activity. In some ways, adoption is similar to that! We decide, and then wait, and then do a little bit, and then wait, and then do a lot, and then wait, and so the cycle continues. 

I say this is our new and improved timeline, and we hope that it will go according to our plan...but ultimately we need to remember "A man makes a plan in his heart, but God directs his path." (Prov.16:9)

So who knows? It may change tomorrow. 

           

Catching Up

This past weekend, I finally feel like I'm getting it together. Our house doesn't reflect this, what with the Kleenexes everywhere, tumbleweeds of dog fur, and sink full of dirty dishes, but if anything being sick kept me parked on a couch or in bed with nothing to do but research, Pinterest, and plan.

Many of you have wondered and asked exactly what we need help with or what you can do to help us. Well, thanks to the plethora of time I've had this weekend I was able to make a list.

Ready, and GO!

1) Pray. Pray that we are wise with our resources and finances and spending choices. Pray that we will be organized in time for our garage sale. Pray for donations for our garage sale. Pray that our washing machine and dryer will last a little bit longer and that our check engine light won't cost $7000 to fix. Pray for the start of our home study in June. Pray that God will put the right people in our lives to support and encourage us. Pray that we don't limit God. Pray for wisdom and guidance and patience and patience. And patience.

I could go on with that, but I'd say that would summarize the right now.

2) Garage sale! Everyone's favorite thing to do, I know. I've read mixed reviews on these "garage sales for adoptions" but it seems like if you put the work into it, and a lot of work into it, then they are mostly successful. We'll be having one whenever our neighborhood has one (which I need to double check the date but I believe it is either first or second weekend in May). If you have things you'd like to donate, feel free to drop them off or we can pick up. If you're bored that weekend and want to stop by or want to help price or make cookies or knit scarves or whatever, you do that too! (If you live up near our parents, you can bring the stuff to their houses and we can get it from there. I should probably warn them that I said that, so parents--consider yourselves warned. Derek also says we need tables (or plywood and sawhorses, or doors and sawhorses). That's a minor detail I didn't think of until now. Thanks Derek!

3) Probably the most fun one on the list--puzzles! We need help assembling four puzzles. It's a long story, but essentially we need to assemble the puzzles, number the pieces, and stamp half of them. Just trust me. I promise, I'm not crazy.

I'm thinking a Friday night puzzle night? We'll provide the pizza!

I can no longer think of puzzles without singing this.

4) Crafting! At some point after these puzzles are assembled, labeled, and disassembled, we need to have do a few more things to the pieces. Honestly, I would try to explain, but it would be easier to show and tell and the puzzles are still en route from who knows where. Just remember, #pieceofthefamily! And...it's not a hard craft--not even cut and glue. Just glue. In case you were worried.

5) Keep August 15 clear if you can. I really don't know too much about this other than the date, but we have multiple friends who have approached us that want to do some sort of benefit event. Which is CRAZY. We'll go with it though, and see what God has in store. One friend has graciously blocked off the space at her shop to hold this event, which is amazing, but honestly I don't know much more than that. There's only two days in a weekend and I didn't do that much planning. You can add praying for that date and for God to move people to get involve to item #1.

I don't know if it's because it's March 1st or what, but I'm finally feeling like things are starting to get moving and organized. This should probably be first instead of last, but we'll call it saving the best for last. We are SO thankful for the amount of people who have asked us what they can do, or connected us with people who have been through the process or are going through the process, or just offered the right words at the right time. Yes, we realize we are still so much at the beginning of this and hesitated to share so early, but we wanted to involve our family and friends in what we feel God is calling us to do.

I'll try to publish a few more posts that have been sitting in the drafts for the past few months, but no promises.

-Later!

Merry January 24

Thanks everyone for the messages, texts, emails, posts, calls, and any other form of communication that I'm missing that you've given us in regards to what we're now calling our "adoption press release." It's been a few weeks, and I thought I'd give a heads up on what's been happening in our lives since then.

For starters, I took this picture just now.

#notapriority

That would be our tree, which is still up. Hopefully, it will come down tonight. We've had a few other priorities/goings on, and suddenly about ten days ago we realized the tree was still up...and then promptly forgot about it again.

I think pictures work better with minimal words, so without further ado...

D's favorite gift

My favorite gift

It's tradtion!



Derek's done! What will he do with all this spare time?!

Cleaning out TV room for guest room

New TV/Family room...Before

And after! We did not get a snow day.

And of course, dogmosis.

I know a lot of you have asked a lot of questions about our adoption, and at some point in the near future we'll do a Q&A just for you! In the meantime, just keep checking back here where I will attempt to update wherever we may be in the process.

New Years and Red Threads

Happy New Year from the Tanii! 

Above, you will see the Chinese symbol for family. I love the simplicity of it! This is how we chose to tell our families this past Christmas that Lord willing, we have decided to adopt our firstborn child from China. 

Adoption has always, always been important to us. There are many reasons, but most importantly we are adopting because we want to. We want to show a child that he or she is loved and wanted. We want to give a child opportunities that he or she may not (and probably wouldn't) have; things we take for granted, like an education or good health or a safe environment. Ultimately, we want to pass on God's love and mercy to another as He has done for us.

Our family is growing. It may not be the traditional way, and although we've barely made a dent in the process we can already say it is also not the easy way, but we're excited to see what this year and the next will bring us. We welcome your questions and covet your prayers as we begin this journey, and hope that you share our excitement as we move forward!

As always, stay tuned.

An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch of tangle, but will never break. --Chinese proverb