Home

Where we love is home-

Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. --Oliver Wendell Holmes

Shortly after welcoming Judah home, we found a house, or shall I say The House, that we knew was what we were looking for in our forever home. We like to say this is the home we will die in, or the home we will live in until our children force us out. It's not huge, it's not updated, and moving certainly wasn't on our summer to-do list, but it's exactly right for us--both now and in the future.

Except we have two 3 year olds, one who doesn't like change and another who faced an incredible amount of change in a very short period of time.

Explaining that we were moving to a new house, driving past the new house, even going on the inspection of the new house still didn't prepare them for what moving from one house to another would be like. Even now, if I'm out with them running errands, one of them will still ask "Are we going to the new house?" as if the old house is still an option.

Then we went on a couple vacations, had a couple hospital stays/trips, and had some family stuff come up, and Derek and I would make the mistake of saying "We're going to head home", meaning "We're going to head back to wherever we're sleeping."

Again, our two 3 year olds don't understand that, and assume we are headed home to the house we live in.

So we did some quick thinking, and now when we are out of town or not sleeping in our house, and say we are headed home, we ask just these three questions if they are confused:

Are you a part of a family?
Are we a family?
Are we your family?

Once their answers are yes, always yes, our next sentence is "Home is wherever our family is."

It's simple, it's basic, it's age appropriate...but it is also true.

Whether we are in our house, on vacation, in a hotel room or in a hospital room, we are a family. We are together, and that means we're home. Family is home, and home is family.

But sometimes, because of circumstances we can't control, families aren't together. Sometimes a family member is sick and in the hospital, whether for a quick or extended stay. Sometimes, a beloved family member, no matter the age, has passed on, going Home to where they are healed and whole. And sometimes, someone's family is working hard, waiting, praying for them to come home and to be a part of a family, to be a part of their family.

I think we can all relate to at least one of those instances. That's what inspired the design of these shirts. For us, a member of our family isn't home yet. For a little person on the other side of the world, he or she is still waiting for a home and a family.

If you would like to purchase a shirt that says Home is where Family is, you can click here, the photo of the t-shirt above, or the t-shirt photo on the blog's homepage. By doing so, you'll help us bring home our newest and youngest--and yet unknown--family member.

We have set a high goal of selling 100 shirts, and we hope and pray we can meet that goal. We have a variety of colors and options available, for children and adults. If you've made a purchase, you should have your new shirts by the middle of November. Thank you, very much, to each of you who has bought a shirt so far, and to those of you who have donated on top of purchasing a shirt. Thanks for being a part of our family.

Wee Tanii Three

This past April, we told ourselves "Let's take some time. Let's have a normal summer, maybe even a normal, no surprises, ordinary year. Let's not do anything rash." I think we even wrote about it, if you go back far enough.

Because, to stay as honest as we've always promised you, that's what we wanted. Normalcy. No penny pinching, no sleepless nights, no doubts. A one way ticket to easy street. We earned it, right?

Yet tonight here we are, one month after our application approval to adopt our third child from China, because, truth be told, deep down that easy street ticket wasn't sitting well. Uncomfortable. A nudge that wouldn't go away. Wrong even.

As soon as we hit submit, we felt the familiar feelings of excitement and anticipation. Planning out bedrooms and sleeping arrangements (bunk beds!), who will travel (can we all???), and even what vacations will look like, ways we can cut costs and budget and look for support for this adoption.

Within a few hours though, a funny thing happened that I can't say I remember feeling before. All of the doubts and fears and selfishness that had made us say "Let's wait awhile" months earlier came rushing back with a vengeance, and so we decided not to say anything to anyone.

Do we still replace the 33 year old HVAC in our new home?
What about the flooring I wanted?
Can we still paint the walls? 
What about our boys and their current medical needs?
What about our previous and various commitments?
How will we pay for this?

What will people say?
What will they think?
Will they even care?

If you're just tuning in, you'll quickly learn this is our third time starting the adoption process in three years. Everything was so new and exciting throughout the entire process of the adoption of our oldest son that it felt surreal, like a real adventure, from the beginning of our home study to landing at the airport.

The process of adopting our younger son was a bit harder. There were many roadblocks, delays, and changes to the program; yet, because of God's timing we ended up being grandfathered in, so that other than waiting for all the  appropriate approvals, we were able to continue on and eight months after receiving our approval we welcomed home our next son.

Over the last two and a half years, because of adoption, because of our boys and their needs, because of our own heart change, we have felt aspects of our lives change and priorities rearrange and friendships evolve. It would be wrong to admit that we don't mourn what used to be, but if we hadn't said yes, if we had missed this, we would have not found a community of adoptive families that can relate, families that have been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt (and I mean that both literally and figuratively). Families that, by the time Judah came home just shy of two years after bringing home Jordan, had become the kind of friends we could text at 2am and they'd be up for a conversation.

Our tribe. Our village. Our people.

And so it was to these friends, both near and far, that we first tentatively spoke to about adopting again, to gauge their reactions, still with the intention of keeping this quiet to our extended friends and family because of our fears.

And it was those beautiful souls who affirmed us with a resounding YES. Who volunteered to be travel companions (we now have a wait list). Who offered encouragement and prayers right then. Who volunteered to help however and whenever they could. Who understood what we meant when we said our family didn't feel complete, that we are missing someone.

Who told us, when we asked what they thought others would think, "If people don't think you're a little crazy, you're probably doing it wrong."

They're so right. All of them.

Priorities: checked and balanced. We don't need new floors; we have a roof over our head and warm beds to sleep in. We don't need new furniture. We have empty spaces, but I'd rather those spaces be filled with little people and their things than with more furniture.

We have two boys with medical special needs, which means there will never be a "right time" to do this again. I'm a full time stay at home mom, and one of my main jobs is to keep our schedules up to date with all of our various appointments, procedures, therapies, and extracurriculars. Since I do plan to keep that position for quite awhile, it's a good thing that over time, I've even grown to love my new career. Although sometimes the everyday can be overwhelming, we take things as they come: day by day...and sometimes hour by hour.

We've learned and grown a lot over the last three years, but our biggest, greatest lesson that we keep being reminded of is that God is faithful. Let me be clear: I am not saying bad things don't happen, that loss and pain and fear are absent, but even then, at the core, we know He is still good. It's just as scary for us now as it was three years ago, to say "Okay Lord, You're in control here" and leave everything to Him: whether it be how we will be able to support the addition of this child financially or trusting Him with his or her medical need, or even knowing that He knows our son or daughter who we don't even know yet.

So we've decided we won't keep this quiet. We can't.

We do not want to lead with fear.

We will trust with hope.

Because even after all of our doubts and fears and anxieties, the God of 100 billion galaxies has walked with us every step of the way thus far.

For every time we said we can't, He said I can.

For every time we've said we don't know, He said I have a plan.

For every time we've said we're terrified, He said I am with you.

Make no mistake, we are not special people. We are quite ordinary, following the leading of our extraordinary God. And so, we will trust with the same hope and faith that's carried us thus far. We face many unknowns and uncertainties. We don't have a timeline. We don't know when we will be matched with our child or when we will see his or her face. We don't know his or her special need. We don't know when we will travel. The program has changed drastically from one adoption to the next, but we still believe a part of our family is still in China.

What we do know is that we have a village, a tribe of people surrounding us. We're asking that you join our tribe. We're launching a shirt fundraiser to help pay for our second agency program fee, with an explanation of how we came to arrive at this design later this week. Derek is hard at work making things in his woodshop to supplement our income, if you feel so inclined to buy. We hope to have a joint garage sale in the spring with two other local adoptive families, because we know we need community.

Most of all, as we have always asked you, please pray for our littlest person on the actual other side of the world and for that invisible red thread to bring us together soon.

Our little #weetaniithree.

NAM2016: Six Months In

It has been a very long day. Of course, since I'm a glutton for punishment, yesterday I spent cleaning out Jordan's room and put away all of Jordan's summer clothes that just don't fit plus his Gotcha Day outfit and the toys and bottle he came with. Yes, the bottle he came to us with. The one that is in almost every single one of our China pictures, plus probably most of the photos from the first months home. Yes, we both cried when I put it in the box (but for different reasons). So really, I did not prepare well emotionally (or physically) to get through today.

And if you had told me I would be writing about our six month anniversary of the day we became a family of three from a hospital room, I probably wouldn't have believed you. Although we've known this testing would be coming and expected it, it's one thing to anticipate and push it aside and another completely to be sitting in an uncomfortable chair with interruptions for chest x-rays and vitals and meds. Derek is actually in the comfortable chair. I'm on the couch that pulls out into a bed, but it isn't quite long enough to sit on comfortably. Our room is actually really nice--so I shouldn't complain about anything except for my height not quite working to my advantage for once.

If you've been following our Jet Landing Facebook page then you'll know that Jordan had a stent placed during his heart catheterization, fixing one of his issues. However, the other is still to be decided. Our cardiologist was very firm that he will need surgery, but they (the team of cardio surgeons) will be discussing whether to do it sooner than later. Derek and I personally would prefer sooner while he is still little and won't remember it as much, plus could hopefully bounce back quicker than if he was older. Of course, when they say later, we don't know if they mean next summer or when he's six or sixteen. The risks of waiting would be possibly allowing permanent irreparable damage to muscles, veins, and arteries in the heart but on the other hand, but they just need to evaluate if there is a benefit to waiting.

Hospital Selfie! Happy 6 Months!
 Hi Pom Pom!

We are tired. There is simply no other way to phrase it other than physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally just exhausted. Derek says intellectually doesn't count, but I do, since Jack Sparrow also agrees. Jordan is tired, probably with all of those things too. It really been a long six months of doctors and emergency rooms and conferences and phone calls and medication updates and changes and plain old education about his heterotaxy (which Google tells me is not a word, but it is.)

We're so, so happy to have this procedure behind us. Hopefully anytime it is needed in the future it will just be a routine event (and yes, the stent will have to grow with him, so it will be needed in the future). Our questions for the most part have been answered. We're still waiting on the surgical team to determine the next course of action but at least there will be a game plan in place instead of all the balls up in the air.

But...

We signed up for this. We knew, starting with the submission of our LOI (Letter of Intent--whoa...flashback to March of this past year) that this would be a possibility. Adoption is scary. There are no guarantees. It's a leap of faith that, quite honestly, you just have to close your eyes, take a hugely deep breath, and jump. We didn't know anything about how this would end up--and we still don't.

Yet it's still so totally worth it. Never would trade it, ever. Jordan has brought more joy to our lives and those around him than we could have imagined. The number of people who have stopped us to pray for us and for him--even doctors and nurses--still astounds me. He is silly,sassy, wild, talkative, extroverted, and loves an audience. (Opposites surely do attract; or maybe this is God's sense of humor again.)

Thank you for those of you who helped us bring him home. Thank you for those of you who have supported us so far. We're only six months in, and sometimes that can seem like forever to some people...but in reality it's still just a fraction of his life that he's spent with us--and a very tumultuous six months it's been for him. And although he can't yet tell us, we hope he also agrees that our family is pretty awesome with the three of us.

Perhaps you've tuned in to the blog this month because it's National Adoption Month or to see more in depth about how our trip to China went. And maybe you're tired of hearing about our trip or our adoption. That's fine! Sometimes, we got tired of reliving it. (Is that bad to admit? I'm not sure.) But the one thing I hope that's made a difference to you, whether you are just tuning in now or you've been with us since our very first post when we were just two people recording our travels, is the impact you can have on the life of a child. Derek and I have adopted one child. Just one. We hope to support dozens more. And, welcome more into our home someday. And there are families who adopt three, six, eight, or even ten children. There are good families who foster kids who have no other options but to move on from their biological parents--whether temporarily or permanently. There are children in Syria, in the Middle East, scattered across Europe in general who have no home, no clothes, and no food. There are women--girls--who find out they're pregnant and don't know what to do and how or if to proceed with the pregnancy because they have no other options.

These are not exaggerations. These are facts. The important thing to remember is that you can do something. It doesn't have to be traveling to China. It doesn't have to be opening your home to foster care or adopting a child. It doesn't have to be permanent! It can be lunch at your local public school with some of the kids who need a role model. It can be donating some diapers to your local women's pregnancy crisis center. It can even be financially supporting a family whom you know is adopting--or has adopted in the past! But please, please, do something. I promise, you can. 

NAM2016: Thankful Thursday

How nice that the end of our adoption trip ends on Thanksgiving Day! We are thankful for so many things this year:

-the process of Jordan's adoption being over
-having our financial needs met before we traveled
-Jordan's arrival
-our health
-Jordan's health
-a fantastic team of doctors who care about Jordan, not just as a patient
-our families' health
-our friends here who are also our family
-safe travels to and from China
-family and friends who love us and want to help us when we need it
-a warm house
-not one, not two, but possibly THREE (3) new Christmas trees
-a church family who cares about us
-Derek's job which provides what we need
-.....etc.

But I can tell you, without fail, with absolutely no exaggeration whatsoever in the history of mankind's use of hyperbole, what we were most thankful for in the year of 2016 to date was the wheels of our plane touching down on the runway at O'Hare on June 8 around 1:30 p.m.

That was the longest fourteen hours of our life. It really was.

Let's rewind, shall we?

We departed our Guangzhou hotel around 4:30 a.m. to travel to Hong Kong International Airport via van (estimated arrival time was between 9 and 10). First off, I am not great in the mornings when it's a high stress situation. And I'm not too proud to tell you that when we went through customs from China into Hong Kong and the driver left to use the restroom, I dry-heaved into my purse because that is just how I roll. The fact that Derek opened a pre-packaged breakfast for us that contained hard boiled eggs did not help.

Watching our plane roll up to the gate in HK

However, we made it through customs, to the airport, through baggage check and customs again and security, and to our gate with time to spare. We hit up the Disney store, bought some McDonald's and possibly something similar to Panera, and waited another hour to board. This was probably the first (and last) flight that we had arrived with too much time to spare! That's not a bad thing by the way--just was not our norm for the trip starting with leaving Peoria two weeks earlier!

We boarded our plane, and thankfully had a middle and aisle seat. However, since Jordan was (and still is) under two, he got to sit on our laps for the flight again. This seemed like a great idea at the time when we purchased the tickets almost a month earlier, but it wasn't. Neither of us slept. Jordan fussed the entire trip, even in his sleep. Unknown to us, he was cutting his very last canine. Had we known that, we would have given him some Motrin or something but hindsight is 20/20! Not to mention, the formula still wasn't agreeing with him since we couldn't find what he had been drinking in Beijing anywhere else. We went through a lot of diapers during that plane ride, but we were thankfully only three or four rows up from the bathrooms.

Derek is the most patient person I know. One might say unflappable even. He is, one hundred percent, without a doubt, the opposite of me in every way when it comes high stress and high tension situations. However, at one point on the flight, not even halfway through (eight hours to go to be exact), Derek pretty much threw Jordan toward me (the only way I can describe it) and said "I can't do this anymore" and got up to walk around. Jordan and I had actually just fallen asleep, so we were neither of us happy to have been woken up, but Derek had reached his limit. Honestly, that is the absolute only time I have ever seen that happen. I truly didn't know if he was going to survive the rest of the trip without a mental breakdown. Seriously. And, even though I wasn't pleased to have a now crying toddler thrust into my lap, and a husband pacing the aisles like a crazy person, I kind of...may have...started giggling hysterically. Not really helpful. (Kind of like I am now, just reliving it.)

But, we made it through, and only by the grace of God. Derek is just now--almost six months later--willing to consider flying short distances again. Like maybe, maybe a two hour flight. We've discussed so many vacations and every single one he has said "we'll just drive the twelve, fourteen, thirty-two hours. That is how badly he wanted off of that plane. And please remember...I'm the one with the flying issues.

So....back to "present." When the plane was almost to the ground, I told Derek that as soon as the plane landed we were going to use our elbows and knees and whatever else God gave us to so that we could grab our stuff and get off of that plane. I also said I don't care if the seat belt sign was still on, once those wheels were on the ground, it was GO TIME. Judge not, lest ye be judged, people. And then...then...the wheels hit the ground! Angels sang, I'm pretty sure.

Unfortunately, we were so gungho about getting our junk together that neither of us were paying close attention to Jordan, until our seatmate (who didn't speak English) handed us a tissue and pointed toward his nose...to point out to both of us that Jordan's little nose wasn't just dripping a little blood but full on gushing. Parenting fail. Also, it was at that point that we realized his diaper was full. Full. So really, we didn't need to do much elbowing to get off the flight. When carrying a toddler covered in blood (did I mention he was wearing a white onesie and that was all?) that reeked like none other (thankfully Derek and I were both wearing all black) people move out of your way quickly.

So no. We do not have a triumphant "We've landed in America! Jordan is an American citizen!" photo to share with you, or him someday. It was not a priority. It may have crossed my mind, but I guarantee it did not cross Derek's. At that point we just needed to find a restroom with a changing table. For those of you who have traveled internationally though, you know you can't do that until you've gone through customs...and in our case immigration. We had been warned this could take up to two hours.

It took us five minutes. Five minutes. Let me say again, five minutes. We were through customs, immigration, and had our luggage within a half hour of getting off of that plane. Unheard of. God surely, surely knew we had reached our limit because I do not think that will ever happen again.

That left us with another dilemma. We were supposed to fly home to Peoria at 8:45 that evening--which would leave us with about seven hours to kill at O'Hare. Uh, no. Neither of us (especially Derek) would be getting on a plane anytime soon and we were prepared to rent a car, even though we hadn't slept in about thirty hours. Not our best choice, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Derek went to change Jordan (and throw away that nasty onesie). Also, just an FYI, in the chaos of a bloody nose, a dirty diaper, and just getting off of the plane we forgot our fancy changing pad under the seat...so Derek had to engineer some sort of way to change Jordan without him catching whatever diseases were in the public restroom in O'Hare. He would like me to add here that the baby changing station in that particular restroom was literally a piece of plywood screwed to the wall. Hygienic.

This is when I had a stroke of genius! Derek's parents were headed down to Peoria to meet us at the airport back home! And they had a vehicle with a carseat in it already. BOOM! Done. I called them and they had literally just left their house. Timing is certainly everything! I explained the situation and they were at the airport within a half hour and we were on our way back to Peoria! We are so thankful that's how it worked out. I think they could tell we were in a fog, and also trying to reorganize our timeline like the video camera and whatever friends who weren't at work to meet us at the house instead of hitting us up at the airport that evening as planned. Plus, this was Jordan's first time in a carseat. He wasn't thrilled, but we came prepared with cookies. Somehow, we survived that two and a half hour trip home to our house. There was no triumphant entry. Honestly, I don't think my in-laws know this, (but they will now) but I had reached that point of exhaustion and hunger where I was so nauseated I spent the entire time between Prospect Rd. and Sheridan (so basically two miles from our house) bent over trying not to puke in their backseat. (Surprise! Aren't you glad I didn't?)

Three minutes later...asleep

It was so nice to be home. It was wonderful to be greeted be family and friends at the house who had prayed for us before, during, and after our trip, who cleaned the house while we were gone, and left groceries, dry cleaning, and meals for us so we didn't have to worry for a few days. We were and are so thankful that they made the effort to meet us at the house, considering the unexpected change of plans. We were so happy to be home with our son. And to sleep in our own bed. (Jordan and I conked out around 7, if not earlier.) We are so thankful for our son, the people who cared for him in China, and the people who helped us bring him home.

But, truly...never have we been more thankful for the end of that plane ride...and day.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Love to you all!

-the Tanii



To view our adoption testimony that our church for National Adoption Month, please click here. We are so thankful and honored to share how God worked in our lives over the past year in bringing home Jordan, and hope that speaks to your hearts as well about God's love for His children.

NAM2016: Guangzhou Days 9-14

Before we left, someone told us that once we got to Guangzhou everything was smooth sailing--and they were right! Not only personally, since Jordan was doing so well and I was feeling better, but also the trip itself seemed to get easier.

Of course, we had to actually get to Guangzhou (gwahn-joe) for that to actually happen. Perhaps the most important takeaway here was that while in the Zhengzhou airport I used a squatty potty. Derek tells me that is not the most important aspect of the trip, but I was pretty darn proud of myself. (PS, this is why the majority of the time I was wearing skirts or dresses. One never knows if there will be western toilets available...and a skirt makes things just a bit easier for women!)

Once again, Derek and I (and now Jordan) made it through security with no issues, but the other two families in our group for some reason were given a hard time. We felt bad and nervous for them, since they were traveling with two kids each--a lot to keep track of! But, we did all make it through with time to spare...only to arrive at our gate to find out there were bad storms in Guangzhou. I have to say, the airline was smart not to post anyone at the boarding gate because otherwise they would have had a million and one questions of when this delay would end. Oh, and remember how there isn't air conditioning or much of it inside the airports (or buildings in general)? This terminal was even hotter. But...it had a McDonald's. And if we've learned anything, it is that McDonald's is pretty much always safe to eat. Yet, without anyone at the gate to update us we were all nervous to leave to get something to eat. So...when our boarding time passed, our take off time passed, and even the time we were supposed to land in GZ passed...we figured it was safe and I took orders and ran up the steps with my BFF for the trip (one of the two family's daughters that came with) to the second floor to get to the McDonald's. Only to have Derek come flying up the steps to tell us our flight was boarding.

Fantastic.

Toddler Sleeping. Turbulence off the charts. 

So we all sprinted back down the steps--very hungry at this point--(Derek carrying Jordan) to get to be the last in line to board. Fun fact though, when you're Americans carrying a Chinese toddler--or maybe just a toddler in general--we got to cut everyone and board first. Score! And somehow Derek and I managed to get in preferred seating which had a little extra legroom at the front of the plane. Double points! I want to say the plane provided a meal, but if I remember correctly it was some sort of fish with rice combo. None of the three of us were in love with the option, so we ate the rolls and hoped for the best. Remember, there had been storms...and just because it was now "safe" to fly and/or land did not a pleasant flight make. It was quite bumpy--plus the cabin couldn't regulate the pressure so there was a lot of ear popping. Poor Jordan...everytime he would fall asleep the cabin would lose pressure and his little ears would bother him and he'd cry and wake up. Finally, during the most turbulent part, he fell sound asleep. Out like a light. Us...not so much. (Always strikes a little nerve when you can see the lightning bolts out the windows).

Finally, we landed and after disembarking the plane in pouring rain and dashing to a shuttle that took us to our baggage claim, we made it to the bus to take us to the hotel around midnight Friday night. The kids were wired; the adults were zonked. Also, hungry. Derek and I were able to check into our room very quickly and Derek ran across the street to get McDonald's (like I said, we were starving). Unfortunately, the bellhop had not delivered our luggage to our room and since we had spent approximately eight hours in an airport with two toddlers that were having intestinal issues...there was a diaper shortage. At least I managed to snap a quick picture before a blowout all over our nice white duvet. (It's okay, we got it cleaned up).

BFF

And...now that we were actually in GZ, everyone who said it was the easiest part of the trip was one hundred percent correct. We had to go to the international clinic for the kids to get screened for international travel on Saturday, which other than waiting with other families was very streamlined and fast for us! Sunday we did a little exploring of the hotel (there was a Starbucks, and it was amazing) and did some local touring of the Temple of the Six Banyan Trees, the Ancestral Temple of the Chen Family, and then some shopping where we bought some authentic souvenirs to hopefully pass on to Jordan. Our guide, Kathy, told us that when a baby boy is born you're gifted a piece of jade and you gift it to the wife of your son--if you like her. I have absolutely no idea if that is true, but I like her style.

This Stroller. Lifesaver 

Mom's shopping wears us out!

The sauce was way better!

On Monday, Derek and I were able to take Jordan to the US Consulate and get Jordan's paperwork in order plus take "the oath" since Jordan is too young to say it. Once that was done, as soon as we landed on US soil, he was considered a citizen and his Chinese passport no longer valid. No cameras allowed, but afterward we celebrated at...you guessed it...McDonald's! (There weren't a lot of options our guide recommended outside of our hotel other than McDonald's and Starbucks.) That evening we dined extravagantly on Papa John's pizza and then went on a cruise on the Pearl River to see the lights at night, which was pretty cool. Buildings here definitely don't look like that at night, unless it's the World Series or something.

We tried really hard to get pictures with all three of us smiling, but there were much more interesting things to look at than whoever was behind the camera. Still, they turned out pretty well!

All pearls. Whoa. 

It's tradition. 

On Tuesday, we did what I had been looking forward to the entire trip...other than Jordan of course. Obviously. We went to the Pearl Market. Picture a huge mall...six or seven stories high...with each store selling precious gems or pearls. Obviously, you have to be careful who you buy from as unless you're an expert gemologist you have no way of knowing what is real or not, but we trusted our guide to lead us to a store that had the real thing. And there were bags upon bags of strings of pearls to choose from, plus preset earrings, rings, necklaces, you name it. It was really fun to watch them string the necklaces and bracelets! But it was a long process, and we were all done and headed back to the hotel. The next day would be an early morning for us, as our family would be departing a whole day earlier than the other families since Jordan did not need to be TB tested because he was too little. We met to go over some final paperwork and documentation and then took the traditional pictures with the rest of the families as well as our own family. Then it was time for early dinner and one last bath in the tub that was like a small swimming pool (And yes, this hotel had the glass window to the bathroom too!) and then bedtime for our 4am wake up to leave for Hong Kong!

NAM2016: And Now Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming...Zhengzhou Days 5-9

Just an FYI...this is the post of the video and photo dump. This is where we turned into your stereotypical first time parents. You have been warned.

The rest of the week from Gotcha wasn't exactly a blur, but the days did blend together. We soon found out we could not fool our smart son into drinking from anything other than the bottle he arrived with, so we spent a lot of time with one of us washing and boiling it while distracting him with the iPad. The other families were able to take trips to the orphanages where their children were living, but ultimately the majority of the week the three of us were left alone. We made a lot of trips to Walmart, which as previously mentioned involved climbing lots of flights of stairs, crossing a bridge over a busy street, and then back down the stairs...plus a few more blocks. It wasn't that we forgot things, it was mostly just to pass the time. Jordan was waking up around 6am and since we were still jet lagged it didn't bother us at all...but at 8am you run out of things to do fairly quickly in your hotel room.

We had (have) a good eater!

After a very messy breakfast (I don't know why no one bothered to mention to us that the yoghurt is generally eaten with a straw instead of a spoon because it's so thin...but he insisted on feeding himself and we didn't know what else to do!), we headed back to the government building where we received Jordan. We were a little nervous going back there so soon, but this was actually the start of him really opening up and letting us start to see a little of his personality. He never strayed too far from us, which was awesome knowing that the initial trust bond was starting to form, but he also started to interact with the other kids and started walking around. We knew he was capable, but he was just too scared or unsure with us at the point to do so. In fact, he wouldn't even stand on his own the day before on Gotcha day. But here he was, playing and interacting with us and the other kids! We were so thankful.

Playing with the other kids

We woke up like this. No, really. 

Our sleep schedule went a little like this: Jordan would start out being held or snuggling next to me, then very carefully transferred to his crib which we had lowered the side to become a co-sleeper. Probably not the safest, but since he woke up every two or so hours it wasn't a huge issue. We could tell when he woke up...and when he realized he wasn't "home." After a few times of holding him until he fell back asleep and then putting him back in his bed, only to repeat, we finally just started putting him in between us. He still started out in his crib, but it helped us more easily take turns and still try to catch up on sleep and he didn't wake up as much overnight.

To be honest, that week in Zhengzhou was and is still a blur for me--enough so that I asked if Derek would consider writing about this week but he turned me down. Boo. If anyone recalls, I had been diagnosed with an ear infection the week before we left...and had gotten antibiotics for it but was still taking them until about Beijing. Add in a room on the 20th floor, which--in case you're wondering--is just high enough to make your ears pop every time you go up and down, plus jet lag...and I spent the majority of Tuesday afternoon through Wednesday either lying down or, as our travel group can testify to, with my head between my knees to prevent passing out when we went to apply for Jordan's passport at the police station. I needed sleep, rest (which are two different things), and water. (Apparently, I learned later, this happens to quite a few people who don't hydrate enough when jet lagged.)

Silly

Sassy

It was a blessing in disguise actually, because on our first day together (Monday) Jordan wanted nothing to do with Derek for any sort of extended period of time. However, since Tuesday I was pretty much out of commission all day except for the trip to the local police station for his Chinese passport. This meant Jordan got to spend a lot of time with Derek, whether he wanted to or not! We were also thankful because often times in those situations the baby or child will attach and stay attached to that one parent, but Jordan honestly was good with both of us! By the end of the week, he was catching up on his sleep (waking up less) and staying awake more (fighting that fight or flight instinct). We were seeing his sassy little personality come through. (If he didn't agree or wanted something different, he would very dramatically make his opinion known.) He would play with us, and loved bath time. We had our routine in place of both of us helping with bath time, then I would get his pajamas on while Derek escaped to Walmart for a bit. About the time that Derek got back, Jordan would be asleep and we would transfer him to his crib, where he wouldn't wake up and move to our bed until around 1 or 2 a.m. Pretty good, right? We did a lot of high-fiving. I distinctly remember one of our videos that we posted where Jordan was interacting with us, and I know a lot of people commented about how much he loved us already. I really don't want to be a Debbie Downer, but that probably wasn't true. Were we fun and cool people to hang out with? Duh. Did we have fun toys and a sweet iPad? Yes. Were we his only choice for immediate and necessary survival? A resounding yes. And that is what you're seeing in that video.

Walking around the block

The only other thing we did that week was head to the local notary office, which did not have an elevator--or air conditioning. I was extremely nervous about that since I was just barely starting to feel human again! Derek and I, being the spring chickens we are, practically sprinted up those six flights of steps while holding a toddler and my giant diaper bag/purse filled with every essential thing plus gifts for the government officials...only to be told it was actually the fifth floor. Clearly, although I discovered I was not as in shape as I thought I was, I was feeling better because earlier that week walking across the hotel lobby had me pretty much collapsing against a pillar with my vision blacking out. (Sorry, to everyone who is reading this going "how come you never told us this?" And that answer would be because we didn't want to worry you unnecessarily. Our guide, Tina, checked on me almost hourly to make sure I felt okay, and I had come prepared with every single medicine--prescription or otherwise--known to man so I knew it would just take some time.) By the end of the week, I was feeling well enough to go on walks with both of them around the hotel grounds and block. (Plus here's a few videos to give you a feel for the area...)

Mr. Curious

Mr. Independent

Mr. Tired and Overwhelmed (AKA time to go back to hotel).

Zhengzhou is very urban, as I think I mentioned before. We didn't do any sightseeing, mostly because I was sick but also because there really wasn't an opportunity to do so. We had discussed that if an opportunity came up Derek would take Jordan but that wasn't the case. However, our hotel windows (being on the 20th floor) provided lots of entertainment. It was rainy off and on all week, and so if and when we did venture to Walmart we avoided any and all puddles (you really just never know). These next three videos were part of our daily trip to Walmart...including the funky escalator ramp thing to enter the actual store. (We start the videos at the top of the bridge...we didn't have ten minutes of video space on our phones to record the whole trip!)

My all time favorite--all time favorite ever--video in Zhengzhou we aren't featured in at all. Occasionally, we would randomly hear this music that we didn't have any idea where it was coming from...until we finally figured out it was the street cleaners! You'll have to make sure your sound is on to hear it...and also remember that it was the first week of June. And that we were in China. Which as a rule doesn't really celebrate this holiday.

Merry Christmas!

With our guide Tina in the Zhengzhou airport!

See you in Guangzhou!

NAM2016: Welcome to Zhengzhou! Day 5

Leaving Beijing was a lot more relaxed than our arrival. Not only did we have our guide with us, but we were more familiar with the airport or at least what to expect and had a group to travel with. Our agency does allow you to travel by yourself and provide you with a guide if there wasn't a group to add on to, but I highly recommend going with a group. These are the people who are going to entertain your kid(s) when you're signing paperwork, share medication with you that you don't have, run to Pizza Hut across the street if you can't leave your room...these people are IN IT with you. We all made it through security with no problems. For some reason, Derek and I never had any issues with security but the other two families would be stopped for trivial things--things that were insignificant but scary when you can't understand what people are telling you.

Once we arrived in Zhengzhou (pronounced JUNG-joe), we quickly gathered our luggage (it is an amazing amount of luggage to find and haul for six adults, two kids, and three anticipated children). Even when you pack light...it's still a lot. I even left my hair dryer at home people. I don't think you know the sacrifice that was for me. We located another fantastic guide (shout out to Tina!) and marched through the airport school children style to our transportation outside. We had some trouble with the bus that was going to take us to the hotel (located about an hour from the airport). None of us still quite know what was going on, but the police boarded the bus and escorted the driver off, and then a lot of yelling/loud talking commenced. Phone calls were made, there was a lot of waving of arms...we didn't know if we were ever going to arrive. Was it because we were American? Were we going to have to pay them off? These were the questions going through all of our minds. However, I guess (?) there was just a problem with the driver's credentials. How the police could tell that just by the bus parked and us boarding I don't know, but that's the story and we're sticking to it. While we were waiting for this to be resolved, Tina gave us the most recent updates on our children which included things like current weight, height, favorite foods (actual brands), type of formula, etc. We all poured over this information like it was gold and shared the little anecdotes about our children's personalities--friendly, extroverted, mischievous, smart, determined...we were all proud parents at that moment and yet hadn't met our kids.

We did finally make it to the (very ornate) hotel. Just check out the lobby! This one was even nicer than the last. We all had rooms near each other on the 20th floor (yikes!) but it made for some awesome views. Oh, and yes, once again, we had the super fancy and open bathroom walls, but these came with an automatic curtain plus the shower and toilet were each their own separate rooms within the bathroom. Phew! Having a bathtub was super nice for a toddler, although this one was big enough to swim in.

What was nice about this hotel was that we were right across the street from Pizza Hut, Subway, Burger King that we could actually see from our room...plus it had pretty decent room service. We were pretty set for food. After grabbing some dinner (the absolute best hamburger via room service ever) we met back with our guide to do some shopping at the local Walmart. Yes, Walmarts truly are everywhere and have everything you need. We bought the few snacks that we were told toddlers liked (and actually, we liked them a lot too) and headed back to prepare for the next day.

Our gifts were prepared, our name tags were ready, and most of all, our room had a crib in it. That was what made it so real. The next day, we would have a baby in that crib. There would be three of us instead of two in the room. We would be meeting Jordan the next day! We knew people back home were praying for us and praying for him. You'd think that we wouldn't have slept well at all that night, but we did. It was probably the best nights' sleep we had in China, knowing that finally, finally things were happening. If our minds were on anything at all, it was that this little boy was about to have his entire world rocked and that we wanted it to be as smooth a transition as possible for him. We were getting ready for bed in Zhengzhou, but Jet was getting ready for bed (or already sleeping) in Beijing and was too little to understand that he would be leaving the only family he ever knew the next morning. Gotcha Day (or Family Day as we actually have started to call it recently) was just the beginning. This may seem like a weird place to end this post, but really...let's just draw out the suspense a little bit longer, shall we?

This picture probably says it all. 

Tomorrow...Finally Family Day! Stay Tuned!

Dear Family and Friends

Dear Family and Friends:

First, I know a number of people have asked about meeting us at the airport when we arrive home, and the answer is yes! We will be so excited to see anyone who can meet us at the gate and welcome our new family of three home. Please check out and join our Facebook group "Jet Landing" for detailed flight information. If you do plan to greet us at the gate, we ask that you please do not touch or show affection to Jet as well as limit direct eye contact and communication with him. Remember, this little guy will have had a lot of new experiences in a very short period of time and in addition most likely tired, overstimulated, and scared.

Please keep reading to see how you can help us in the coming weeks...

Derek and I are beyond thankful for the love and support you have all shown us thus far. We are so excited to welcome Jet into our family and know that you are too. We recognize the changes coming our way, especially those for little Jet, and after a lot of thought, prayer, and research we'd appreciate your help and support in the future to make sure Jet's transition to our family is complete. While some of the ways we parent will be the same as parenting a biological child, there will also be some differences. We realize that some of these methods may be unfamiliar to many of you, but we ask that you respect our decisions. It is not our desire to cause any hurt feelings, but I think we can all agree that we all want what's best for Jet!

Our main priority is for Jet to feel safe and secure in his new environment and to learn to trust us as his new parents. That may sound strange--why wouldn't he trust us? After all, by the time we get home, we will have been his sole caregivers for almost two weeks! Plus, he's so young! Surely he will adjust quickly!

That may be true--he will trust us to an extent to meet his basic needs. Please remember however, that just like a newborn and caregiver are starting from the very beginning, we too are starting at the "beginning" with Jet. Adoption is traumatizing regardless of age! New parents, hotel rooms, airplane, more hotels, more planes, cars, new house, new room, new foods, new smells, new clothes, new routines...I could go on but I'm sure you get the drift. Jet needs to know that whatever his needs are, we, as his parents, will be the ones to meet them.

To do that, we will be limiting the number of visitors and his interactions with new people and experiences. In fact, for the first two weeks or so that he is home he won't be leaving the house! If you do plan to drop off a meal or grocery shop, as I know many of you have signed up to do (Thank you!!) please just come to the door and one of us will meet you there. After those two weeks or more if he needs it are up we will slowly start to introduce him to new experiences. For example, we may attempt church on a Sunday and if that goes well then head for groceries on Monday. If not, then we will stay home again for a few days.

Up until now, you may be thinking that Jet will be terribly withdrawn and shy and scared of his shadow but actually, many families experience the opposite. Jet may be friendly, outgoing, extroverted, etc. Children in orphanages are used to going to an adult--any adult--and asking for what they need. This means when you do come to visit or we see you somewhere, he may walk up to you and ask to be picked up or for a drink or a snack or rocked or any number of things--and, here is where we desperately need your help--please do not do any of those things and redirect him to either Derek or me. I know. I just asked you to not help or hug or kiss the cute toddler and go against everything you know to be true in this world. But please, remember again, that Jet needs to learn who his parents are and what parents do.

Please also remember that there is no time limit and this too shall pass! Some children can be well-adjusted within a few months and some may take a year--regardless of age! There will not be a "The ban has been lifted!" announcement free-for-all party at our place announcing that Jet is "fully attached!" No, it will be more of a gradual process most likely filled with a "two steps forward, one step back" kind of progress. Honestly? Our hope is that it's so gradual no one will even notice and in a few months, or a year, or whatever it takes, he will be a happy and well-adjusted little boy who knows he has family and friends who love him.

By no means are we implying that we are experts on the subject of attachment! I am 100% positive there will be times we mess up, but--in addition to everything else we're asking you--please show us some grace? It's our first time as parents, you know! If you want to read about this "Cocooning" method further, there are a number of books about the subject (Recommended reading: The Connected Child)  and any number of blog posts from "been there done that" families. Thank you for your understanding and help while we all try to get used to our new normal!