Hey, Jude

Everyone, this is Judah Lev, or Jude if you prefer. Judah means "the praised one" in Hebrew, and Lev means either lion (Russian) or heart (Hebrew). Jude, our little Lion.

As you can see, he's got quite the little strut going on, and much like his brother enjoys noodles and biscuits. According to the ayis, he is never full and always wants more. One and a half bowls of noodles is quite a lot of noodles to still be wanting more. Sounds like we'll be increasing our Ming Shee order on the reg.

He'll be three in May 2018 (which if you're still following along, you'll realize that's about three or so months younger than Jet...so I'm getting the twins I've  always wanted).

According to the information we got, he's fairly extroverted and obstinate at times. He can share with other kids and likes music. Sound like anyone else you know? He's also pretty independent and although a bit younger than Jet, can do things that Jet is yet unable to do (but we're working on--let's go PT!)

When the ayis pass out biscuits, all the other kids take theirs and run off but he points to his mouth instead. The ayis tell him "no, no, hold out your hands" and he'll slowly hold out his hands to take the biscuit before eating it.

There are obviously a lot of medical unknowns. Derek and I for sure assumed we would be waiting a lot longer and that our son would have medical needs similar to Jet (CHD). That's not actually the case so we'll be venturing out once again into a whole new world. I'm fully expecting to be able to add orthopedic knowledge to my resume. And of course, things may not be all that they seem on paper as well so we are prepared for that too.

If the timing of everything works, Derek will be traveling sometime between January and March to bring him home. Chinese New Year is in the middle of February this year, so we'll see how that effects our timeline.

One thing that we're very thankful for that we didn't have the opportunity to do with Jet is that we can sponsor Jude, and by sponsoring him not only will we receive quarterly updates (with pictures) but also ensure that he's receiving adequate food, housing, education, medical needs met, etc. Since travel is a bit farther out than the ten week whirlwind we had with Jet, those updates will be very welcome and of course we will share what we can when we can.

Now, has anyone seen Finding Nemo? I'm assuming sometime in the last fifteen years you have at least once. Remember Nemo's "lucky fin?" Jude has two lucky fins, and he's pretty awesome just the way God made him.
As it turns out, there's a Lucky Fin Project that you can check out for more information.

We'll be keeping his FB Group private a little longer--anyone can join but until we're home, just like with Jet, we prefer to keep things on the private side.

If you'd like to know how you can support us in the coming months, here is a list a things to pray for: 

*For a traveling companion for Derek. If you're interested in an all expenses paid trip to China as a glorified luggage carrier, documenter (that's not a word), and support system, please let us know. 

*For our finances to come together. We are launching the puzzle pieces again this week and hope to continue on with our Etsy shop. Again, traveling much sooner than expected (although still five-ish months out) is a stretch but we know God will provide what we need, when we need it. 

*For Jude and for Jet, as both of their lives are going to be changing pretty drastically in the next six months (and us too, if you think about it). 

*For the process and paperwork to go smoothly. There are a million little things that could pop up that we have no control over. 

Thank you friends. I have a bunch more photos and videos, but here's one last picture (more available on request): 

We think he's pretty perfect. 

Your Yes or No

Your no is someone else's yes. And your yes might have been someone else's no.

"I have it all planned out--plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11 (Message)

I still remember the very first child's file we ever inquired about. It was a little boy with an unrepaired cleft palate/repaired cleft lip. We were so entirely excited, because he seemed like he would fit in so well based on what we read about online. Before we could view the file, another family had already stepped forward to be his Forever Family.

The next file we inquired about was a little girl, and we were the ninth family to inquire about her. Again, we were so excited, but based on the sheer number of families in front of us, we realistically knew we would never see her file.

We did this two or three more times before finally deciding we just needed to wait until we were DTC (dossier to China). Getting our hopes up until getting an email saying that another family had stepped forward to view the file before we could was starting to wear on and discourage us.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"Jeremiah 29:11 (niv)

Then we were matched, just one day after our dossier was sent over to China in January 2016. To be matched means that a child with a medical condition that we had previously "checked yes" to was now available to us. It was the first file we had ever received and we were, basically, ecstatic. We read his file over and over again, and every time we found something to laugh about or something more to love about him. He loved bread. We love bread! Noodles and dumplings were his favorite. We could easily make noodles and dumplings our favorite! And even though he was young, he had a no-nonsense personality that we loved and felt like he would fit right in.

We were encouraged by friends to get his file reviewed by an international adoption doctor. While waiting for that appointment via phone call, in the days between we also researched his need and realized more and more that we didn't know if we would be able to provide the care he needed. The phone call with the IA doctor confirmed that there might be more going on than what was listed, and even though Derek and I were conferencing in to the call each from our own workplaces, we knew that ultimately, we were not the family for him without even needing to discuss it--all while the doctor was congratulating us on such a cute little boy, such a fun child, what a personality, etc. Even now, over a year and a half later, thinking about writing our agency to say no still makes me tear up a little bit.

We gave ourselves a week or two to recover, but I couldn't help myself and started inquiring over files again. One was a boy with mild cerebral palsy--and no one could find his file anywhere. Another was a boy that was listed CL/CP (cleft lip/palate), but it was obvious after reading through the file that there was more going on than what was listed.

Obviously, you all know where this is going. Only six weeks later from our first match did we get the call about Jet. Obviously, you know how that turned out. But that's not what I'm writing about tonight.

You see, for every single one of those kids, all of those files, you have no choice but to imagine your life with them. Or their life with you. Full of family vacations that you want to take, baseball games or basketball, (just hopefully not cross country) favorite foods, reading books in the car on road trips, kindergarten, eighth grade, etc. It's a future that is almost within reach, until something happens and you realize you are not the family for them, and they are not the child for you. And all of those hopes and dreams go away, and you feel that loss significantly.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'Plans for peace and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.'"Jeremiah 29:11 (esv)

And now we're starting this process again. We've actively reviewed one file with the intention to submit our yes, only to have it disappear before we could do so. We've received two more files over the past month that we've been "matched" with per our already filled out medical conditions checklist. One who would have been a great big brother for Jet, and another who would have been a fantastic little brother. Both of which were difficult "no's" to give. Both of which we had those dreams and hopes of a future, but neither were in God's plan.

A small comfort that we've clung to is "your no is someone else's yes." Almost all of the children that we've been matched with--and all of the children that we've inquired about--are with or have their forever families. One is already is in her forever home with Jesus. And we know that that's the way it was meant to be.

Because what is the end goal here? What is the purpose for why we are doing this? Sure, we want to grow our family. Jet needs a sibling desperately (desperately!). Derek and I desire a house full of kids and shoes everywhere with a slobbering dog that sheds all over and those family vacations where no one is really speaking by the end of them because we're all sick of each other--those are the things that we want. But the end goal? It's for these kids to have "a future and a hope." To "prosper and not be harmed." To "be taken care of."

"To not be abandoned."

We're so excited to be starting this process over again. We're excited to know a bit more (not much) about what we're doing. We're excited for Jet's new brother or sister. We're excited for "one less". We're excited to see what God's end goal is here. But we're also nervous. Nervous because every picture, every video, every anecdote and description and favorite food and personality that we see and read about for each one of these kids makes us more vulnerable. It's hard to decipher God's will with both our heads and our hearts involved for each of these children. We ask for prayers again, as we move forward. We have no idea when the next phone call will come. Prayers for clarity, wisdom and strength, and ultimately, to realize that we are being entrusted to care for and raise eternal souls by giving a home to these fatherless. Not our will, but His.

Thank you.

Current Events

That smirk though!

Four times now I've tried to finish this post on current events, only to have our "happening now" suddenly become old news. I've decided though I'm just going to go with what's happening exactly right now! 

In case you missed the big news, please meet Jet (Jordan Ezekiel)!
Let me tell you a little bit about him, if you're interested (and of course you are)! He is 15 months old (tomorrow) and post-operative for major congenital heart defects--more surgery or other medical interventions may be needed but we won't know that until we see the doctors here. We were matched with him at the beginning of March and received an unexpected update this past week along with another earlier in the month. It's rather strange actually, because all we know about him--his likes, dislikes, and personality--can be condensed into just a few short sentences. It seems like our boy doesn't like dolls and is afraid of strangers, introverted yet affectionate. He's a big fan of snacks--vegetables and bananas and mashed apples and stuffed steamed buns. My personal favorite is that he "does not like orange." I'm not sure if they mean the color or the fruit, but there will be no orange in this house--flavored or otherwise. Derek liked the "when he cries, he does so very loudly and sometimes he has a quick temper." Sounds like a toddler! Most importantly though, he is healthy and is receiving phenomenal care at a private foster care facility, which we could not be more thankful for.

Recently, I was speaking with someone right after we were matched about how important prayer was and is during this whole long process. They were under the sincere impression that our prayers have been answered--and that it was no longer necessary for prayers for us and Jet. I'd like to say I handled my response with tact and grace, but in reality I laughed, a lot, and may or may not have questioned their sanity.

Being matched is not the end my friends. We are ready to meet our son, but there are so many things that need to be accomplished before that can happen. We thank you for the prayers thus far that have been said for Jet and for us, and we continue to ask that you'll remember all three of us in the coming weeks and months, especially in these specific concerns that have been on our hearts lately:

1) Paperwork. There are still some immigration and travel/visa that need to be completed, and we ask that you'd pray with us that everything goes through successfully and also patience on our end. Mostly, for patience. Here are the remaining steps, and timelines, if you're interested:

• Article 5 Drop off (this coming week): Article 5 is letter issued telling China we're eligible to adopt Jet and that he can enter and permanently reside in USA.
• Article 5 Issued (two weeks after drop off)
• Travel Approval (two days to three weeks after Article 5 is received): The CCCWA (China)'s formal invitation to travel to complete the adoption. 
• Travel to China (10-21 days after TA)

2) Finances, also known as the touchy subject. We're getting down to crunch time when the majority of our expenses are coming due. We ask for prayers that we're wise in our spending and in our saving and to know our priorities. We're still selling puzzle pieces to help cover the cost of our airfare, which you can learn more about here. Please, please pray with us that the remaining pieces will be sold and for people to want to get involved.

3) Jet. Knowing that he is afraid of strangers and the major changes that he will be going through in the coming weeks and months hurts our hearts. At some point before we get him, he will be moving from his foster care nanny, with whom he has spent most of his young life, to the Social Welfare Institute (SWI, or orphanage) of the city in which he was born. As you can imagine, this would be overwhelming enough, but add in the fact that he will then meet more strangers who will take him to the other side of the world and overwhelming turns to traumatizing. Remember, as uncomfortable and nervous and out of our element Derek and I will feel, we know what's going on. Jet doesn't, and so we pray that his adjustment and transition to being a part of our family will be as smooth as possible.

If you have any questions, at all, please ask! We'd love to answer them--or try to. We're not experts by any means. Thank you all, again, for your support and for caring about our little family of three. I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but we could not do it without prayer. Thank you.