Jordan's name was instantaneously easy to decide. For Judah though, we were completely unprepared and had nothing picked out...and nothing we both agreed on. We were even fearful to pick a name while we waited for our pre-approval to come through (which took most of the month of August), just in case we ended up being denied.
What we did know was we wanted a name he wouldn't be ashamed to carry.
That's a weird statement to make, maybe here in the States, but in the country where our boys are from names carry meaning. Some names, given to abandoned children, even point toward the child's difference or special need; and that name given to them as children stays with them for life, branding them, adding to the social stigma of their special need in addition to being an orphan.
For the record, neither of our boys' names given by their orphanages points toward their physical differences. Should they want to be called by those names someday or if they return to their country of birth for work, school, or whatever reason, that's their decision. We'll always make sure they know their full names. Still though, we struggled. Should we keep some of Judah's name and incorporate it into his new one? But we didn't do that for Jordan, so would that matter to Jordan someday? Probably not. What if it did? And so, we were stuck.
Two sons: one with internal differences not seen to the naked eye, and one with more obvious external differences.
Two sons: both with emotional needs and differences that coincide with their physical ones.
Jordan: to honor the choice Derek's birthmother made. Because of her brave decision, Derek's life, my life, Jordan's and Judah's, were forever changed.
Ezekiel: to honor the ones who cared for him as "Zeke", a name meaning God will strengthen.
Judah: praised, to be praised (Hebrew). Praise, because Judah will be an orphan no more, and instead a beloved son in our family.
Lev: lion (Russian), heart (Hebrew). It might seem odd that our non-heart boy has a name meaning heart, but that was not a mistake. It will hopefully serve as a reminder to him that he's got a lion-sized heart full of brave that will help him in the next few months, and years, as he adjusts to his new life here and learns he can do hard things. We can do hard things.
Two sons, adopted into our family, as if they were born to us. There is no difference between a biological child and our adopted children. They are just children. Adoption is a physical act, an action, a verb. It is not a definition, a qualifier, an adjective.
It's a part of their history, but it will not be something that forever defines their place in our family.
For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him--Romans 8:15-17
Adoption could not be a clearer picture of God's grace. There is nothing, nothing we've done to deserve it, no reason at all why He chose us, but He did. And because of that, we are forever grafted into the family of God as His children and heirs. And we'll continue to shout it until we are blue in the face.
Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name, you are mine.--Isaiah 43:1b
Jordan Ezekiel, Judah Lev. You are ours. You are God's.
