NAM2016: Our Story Days 0-3: Peoria-Chicago-Hong Kong

Does this thing still work? Does anyone read this? Has it actually been six months since we traveled? Was anyone not aware that we adopted a child from China? Show of hands if anyone is tired of hearing about it! (I can't see you, so I'm still going to write.)

In case you didn't know, November is Adoption Awareness Month. I have basically taken a six month break from our blogging because there really just hasn't been time...but I could also be honest and say I was feeling lazy when I did actually have the time. However, it's important to us to get out our story of Jet's adoption--if not for you all but for him someday, plus talk about our issues that have popped up since.

I"ll just start on Wednesday, May 25th, which was the day before we left. Previously, we had decided to have everything packed and ready to go the day before that--so two whole days in advance. This is not generally how we travel. We do a lot of last minute trips and have gotten pretty good at throwing things in a suitcase and leaving a half hour later, so in retrospect this was not actually a good plan. We thought this would leave us a free day of doing fun things, but nerves about the upcoming trip plus about five separate runs to Walgreens left us with very little time. For example, I suddenly insisted we needed to bring eight toothbrushes--one for each of us, for each hotel. Derek loves me, and my neuroses, so he willingly packed them (but didn't use them but we'll get to that later).

But, J's room was done, or at least the important things were. His blanket was finished. The Ikea chair was assembled and we stayed married. Derek actually built the crib by hand--not just ordered from JC Penney because again, I am particular and he loves me. I will say the crib is amazing. If he didn't love engineering, he could totally go into the crib-making business. (We didn't take a picture of the whole room because we truly just forgot, but this was close enough.)

On Thursday, after a good night's sleep for both of us provided only by the grace of God, we left the house around 5am to head to the PIA for our flight to O'Hare. On the way there, I was actually feeling calm, so calm it was eerie. Full disclosure, I do take special "airplane pills" but I typically don't take them until we get to the airport and park the car. As we were driving on our short trip to the airport we both noticed there was a storm brewing but nothing terrible looking. Considering we were 90 minutes early there was plenty of time for it to blow over. 

Except it didn't. 

As we were parking our car, Derek got a text from a friend inside that said something to the effect of "Your flight's been cancelled!!!" with a bunch of--no lie--laughing emojis. At this point, our luggage was already out of the car, and honestly, we just assumed it was a joke. A bad joke, but still a joke. 

It wasn't. 

And also, just for future reference, the emojis between iPhones and Androids are different. 

I'm not going to lie--skipping the flight in the little puddle jumper from Peoria to O'Hare wasn't a hardship for me. If anything, I could even claim it as an answer to prayer--but that's probably a reach. We ended up going back home because it was so early even the car rental places in the airport were closed (again, thanks Peoria). I went back to bed for a few hours and Derek got McDonald's breakfast before we headed back to the airport to rent a car to drive up to O'Hare. It was an hybrid car, but beggars can't be choosers (Derek) and off we went!

After we figured out how to turn it on and leave the lot

Once we made it to O'Hare, we got to navigate the rental return mall and the shuttle bus system. At that point, we just wanted to get to our terminal because it was 11:30 and we were hungry...and then we realized the TSA line was even crazier than what we saw on the news. Does anyone remember what the lines were like Memorial Day weekend of May 2016? Yes, we were there. Four hours later, we arrived at our gate. Yes, four hours. Thankfully, our flight was delayed and so we didn't miss our boarding.

Chicago-Hong Kong

The flight was uneventful, but long. Personally, I loved the dinner they provided and Derek did not...but neither of us liked the lunch? Breakfast? Not exactly sure what the second meal was supposed to be. Does anyone know how they figure out what to serve for airplane meals? Here is where the time difference starts to confuse. We took off around 4:30 p.m. on a Thursday afternoon in Chicago, and after a sixteen hour flight landed in Hong Kong around 10:30 p.m. Friday night. Also, when I say it was a long flight? I mean they tacked on a couple extra hours. We were scheduled to land around 8:30 p.m., not 10:30. At this point, we were not even considering our purpose for this trip. We are sorry Jet, but our number one goal was to land, get through customs, and find food somewhere. Anywhere. And sleep.

Airport view from the room

We did finally make it through customs and checked into our hotel, which was attached to the airport. Our bellhop practically ran through the airport while we huffed and puffed through the humidity and jet lag--not a great combo. (Eastern buildings are not air-conditioned like our Western ones.) I purposely had booked a little bit nicer room (bigger) just because I thought we would have more time to relax. That was not the case, and I also apparently didn't book just a "little" bit nicer room...I booked some top level suite or something. Fail. Oh well. It came with a bowl of fruit and a minibar, and since we were both exhausted and sick we made do with that and went to bed to hopefully get some sleep before we were up and at 'em at 6 a.m. for our flight to Beijing. 

My husband, whom I love very much, is one of those people who can fall asleep anytime, anywhere, within seconds of head on pillow. I am the polar opposite of this and additionally, when I'm feeling tired and/or run down, anxiety tends to get the better of me. That calm feeling I was experiencing up until that point flew right out the window. Thankfully, since we did have the giant upgraded room, I got up and went into the living room so that I didn't disturb him and immediately started texting friends, since it was the middle of the day for them although middle of the night for me. (Time difference is thirteen hours ahead. Little trick--add one to your current time, and flip-flop the AM/PM.) 

This is when the worry set in. What if our son had more severe needs than disclosed? What if they made a mistake and he wasn't supposed to be ours? What if WE were making a mistake? What if, what if, what if? Having supportive, Godly friends whom I know were taking time out of their busy Fridays to spend time in prayer for me helped calm me down enough to get some rest, and I will never be able to adequately express my thanks to them. I didn't sleep exactly, but had a calm mind and spirit, knowing that God would be with us throughout the trip and that we were doing what He wanted us to do. On top of that, upon opening my FirstFive (awesome app btw if you haven't looked into it), this was my devotional for that morning. Providential. 

Sadly, we didn't get to see much of Hong Kong. It was cloudy and hazy, but from what we could see of the island the airport was on, beautiful. We would love to visit someday. We took a few more pictures that pretty much all look the same as this one, and enjoyed our concierge level breakfast. We looked very out of place with our casual travel clothes mixed with the businessmen and women in the breakfast area. Oh well. We grabbed our luggage and this time took a much more leisurely stroll from the hotel to our check-in counter for our airline. Hong Kong is a good mix of both Western and Eastern cultures, so we weren't completely out of our element here and the airport was so incredibly easy to navigate. And, it was attached to a mall. Perfect! We took one last selfie before heading toward our gate (and getting McDonald's for breakfast...theme?). For very little sleep, incredible jet lag, and nerves, I have to say we looked pretty good! Even though this seemed like it was the last leg of the trip, it was still just the very beginning. At this point though, we were excited to get to Beijing, and to get this show on the road to meet our son!

Ok, so my eyebrow was only a LITTLE bit up. It's fne. 

And last, but not least, here is a photo of Derek, holding his carry on which was full of things for our son. Our good friends Russ and Kel gave this to us for a baby shower gift, and we couldn't have brought a more perfect bag to carry things for our own little Jet!

Off we go!

...to be continued...

Dear Family and Friends

Dear Family and Friends:

First, I know a number of people have asked about meeting us at the airport when we arrive home, and the answer is yes! We will be so excited to see anyone who can meet us at the gate and welcome our new family of three home. Please check out and join our Facebook group "Jet Landing" for detailed flight information. If you do plan to greet us at the gate, we ask that you please do not touch or show affection to Jet as well as limit direct eye contact and communication with him. Remember, this little guy will have had a lot of new experiences in a very short period of time and in addition most likely tired, overstimulated, and scared.

Please keep reading to see how you can help us in the coming weeks...

Derek and I are beyond thankful for the love and support you have all shown us thus far. We are so excited to welcome Jet into our family and know that you are too. We recognize the changes coming our way, especially those for little Jet, and after a lot of thought, prayer, and research we'd appreciate your help and support in the future to make sure Jet's transition to our family is complete. While some of the ways we parent will be the same as parenting a biological child, there will also be some differences. We realize that some of these methods may be unfamiliar to many of you, but we ask that you respect our decisions. It is not our desire to cause any hurt feelings, but I think we can all agree that we all want what's best for Jet!

Our main priority is for Jet to feel safe and secure in his new environment and to learn to trust us as his new parents. That may sound strange--why wouldn't he trust us? After all, by the time we get home, we will have been his sole caregivers for almost two weeks! Plus, he's so young! Surely he will adjust quickly!

That may be true--he will trust us to an extent to meet his basic needs. Please remember however, that just like a newborn and caregiver are starting from the very beginning, we too are starting at the "beginning" with Jet. Adoption is traumatizing regardless of age! New parents, hotel rooms, airplane, more hotels, more planes, cars, new house, new room, new foods, new smells, new clothes, new routines...I could go on but I'm sure you get the drift. Jet needs to know that whatever his needs are, we, as his parents, will be the ones to meet them.

To do that, we will be limiting the number of visitors and his interactions with new people and experiences. In fact, for the first two weeks or so that he is home he won't be leaving the house! If you do plan to drop off a meal or grocery shop, as I know many of you have signed up to do (Thank you!!) please just come to the door and one of us will meet you there. After those two weeks or more if he needs it are up we will slowly start to introduce him to new experiences. For example, we may attempt church on a Sunday and if that goes well then head for groceries on Monday. If not, then we will stay home again for a few days.

Up until now, you may be thinking that Jet will be terribly withdrawn and shy and scared of his shadow but actually, many families experience the opposite. Jet may be friendly, outgoing, extroverted, etc. Children in orphanages are used to going to an adult--any adult--and asking for what they need. This means when you do come to visit or we see you somewhere, he may walk up to you and ask to be picked up or for a drink or a snack or rocked or any number of things--and, here is where we desperately need your help--please do not do any of those things and redirect him to either Derek or me. I know. I just asked you to not help or hug or kiss the cute toddler and go against everything you know to be true in this world. But please, remember again, that Jet needs to learn who his parents are and what parents do.

Please also remember that there is no time limit and this too shall pass! Some children can be well-adjusted within a few months and some may take a year--regardless of age! There will not be a "The ban has been lifted!" announcement free-for-all party at our place announcing that Jet is "fully attached!" No, it will be more of a gradual process most likely filled with a "two steps forward, one step back" kind of progress. Honestly? Our hope is that it's so gradual no one will even notice and in a few months, or a year, or whatever it takes, he will be a happy and well-adjusted little boy who knows he has family and friends who love him.

By no means are we implying that we are experts on the subject of attachment! I am 100% positive there will be times we mess up, but--in addition to everything else we're asking you--please show us some grace? It's our first time as parents, you know! If you want to read about this "Cocooning" method further, there are a number of books about the subject (Recommended reading: The Connected Child)  and any number of blog posts from "been there done that" families. Thank you for your understanding and help while we all try to get used to our new normal!

Current Events

That smirk though!

Four times now I've tried to finish this post on current events, only to have our "happening now" suddenly become old news. I've decided though I'm just going to go with what's happening exactly right now! 

In case you missed the big news, please meet Jet (Jordan Ezekiel)!
Let me tell you a little bit about him, if you're interested (and of course you are)! He is 15 months old (tomorrow) and post-operative for major congenital heart defects--more surgery or other medical interventions may be needed but we won't know that until we see the doctors here. We were matched with him at the beginning of March and received an unexpected update this past week along with another earlier in the month. It's rather strange actually, because all we know about him--his likes, dislikes, and personality--can be condensed into just a few short sentences. It seems like our boy doesn't like dolls and is afraid of strangers, introverted yet affectionate. He's a big fan of snacks--vegetables and bananas and mashed apples and stuffed steamed buns. My personal favorite is that he "does not like orange." I'm not sure if they mean the color or the fruit, but there will be no orange in this house--flavored or otherwise. Derek liked the "when he cries, he does so very loudly and sometimes he has a quick temper." Sounds like a toddler! Most importantly though, he is healthy and is receiving phenomenal care at a private foster care facility, which we could not be more thankful for.

Recently, I was speaking with someone right after we were matched about how important prayer was and is during this whole long process. They were under the sincere impression that our prayers have been answered--and that it was no longer necessary for prayers for us and Jet. I'd like to say I handled my response with tact and grace, but in reality I laughed, a lot, and may or may not have questioned their sanity.

Being matched is not the end my friends. We are ready to meet our son, but there are so many things that need to be accomplished before that can happen. We thank you for the prayers thus far that have been said for Jet and for us, and we continue to ask that you'll remember all three of us in the coming weeks and months, especially in these specific concerns that have been on our hearts lately:

1) Paperwork. There are still some immigration and travel/visa that need to be completed, and we ask that you'd pray with us that everything goes through successfully and also patience on our end. Mostly, for patience. Here are the remaining steps, and timelines, if you're interested:

• Article 5 Drop off (this coming week): Article 5 is letter issued telling China we're eligible to adopt Jet and that he can enter and permanently reside in USA.
• Article 5 Issued (two weeks after drop off)
• Travel Approval (two days to three weeks after Article 5 is received): The CCCWA (China)'s formal invitation to travel to complete the adoption. 
• Travel to China (10-21 days after TA)

2) Finances, also known as the touchy subject. We're getting down to crunch time when the majority of our expenses are coming due. We ask for prayers that we're wise in our spending and in our saving and to know our priorities. We're still selling puzzle pieces to help cover the cost of our airfare, which you can learn more about here. Please, please pray with us that the remaining pieces will be sold and for people to want to get involved.

3) Jet. Knowing that he is afraid of strangers and the major changes that he will be going through in the coming weeks and months hurts our hearts. At some point before we get him, he will be moving from his foster care nanny, with whom he has spent most of his young life, to the Social Welfare Institute (SWI, or orphanage) of the city in which he was born. As you can imagine, this would be overwhelming enough, but add in the fact that he will then meet more strangers who will take him to the other side of the world and overwhelming turns to traumatizing. Remember, as uncomfortable and nervous and out of our element Derek and I will feel, we know what's going on. Jet doesn't, and so we pray that his adjustment and transition to being a part of our family will be as smooth as possible.

If you have any questions, at all, please ask! We'd love to answer them--or try to. We're not experts by any means. Thank you all, again, for your support and for caring about our little family of three. I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but we could not do it without prayer. Thank you.